Savage Love

I am a 23-year-old lesbian in a relationship of three months. In these three months, I have been tied up, spanked, cut, burned, and put on display for strangers at her request because she likes it and I'm GGG. My one and only kink is that I get a deep sexual thrill out of popping zits. She only gets zits when she's on her period and she hates, hates, HATES being touched during her period. She is also terrified that popping her zits will give her scars. I don't think she's being fair, but she is not budging.

On the one hand, we're very compatible and I could really see this relationship going somewhere. On the other hand, three months doesn't make me so attached that I'll be crying in my corn flakes if I end it. I'm also not thrilled that she's not GGG for me. She has suggested I find someone else to get my zit-popping groove on with, but I don't like being with more than one person at a time.

So what do you think? Keep trying to convince her it doesn't have to scar, or just DTMFA and hold out for a gal who's more willing to be groomed?

Dyke Making Decisions

Your letter may be total bullshit, DMD, but I'm running it to appease the whiners out there who bitch every time my column touches on politics. Last week's Haggard/Santorum hoedown resulted in some particularly scathing e-mails. "Enough with the politics," whiners whined. "Bring back the freaks!"

Lesbians spanking, cutting, burning, and zit popping—that's some freaky shit. Lap it up, whiners.

Okay, DMD, while your kink may be less common than your girlfriend's hardcore BDSM kinks, you have more leverage at your disposal here than you realize. As icky as your kink is, you will have a much easier time finding a new girlfriend. Your next girlfriend may allow you to pop her zits grudgingly, and only in private, and may have a laugh at your expense before, during, and after, but she'll probably go there. Girls who are into and/or willing to be spanked, cut, burned, tied up, and publicly displayed are much harder to find.

So drop a bomb, DMD: She submits to a monthly zit-popping session to keep you—indulgent you, GGG you—in her life. If she can't or won't, bolt.

I'm an 18-year-old female college student in New York City—of average weight and attractive in the face. With all the freaky people out there, you would think I would be able to find a guy to satisfy my kinky side. I'm extremely dominant—in and out of the bedroom. Most of the submissive guys I find are 50-year-old white men. When I do find younger guys who are into the whole submissive thing, they just want sex and not a relationship. Where can I find a submissive 18-year-old guy interested in a serious relationship?

All About Me

P.S. When I say dominant, I mean I get off on inflicting pain, the whole nine yards.

Another kinky woman, whiners—and a teenage one at that. You're welcome.

Okay, AAM, at your age you can't have found, much less played with, more than a handful of subs close to your own age. As your sample of New York City's teen subs is so small, you should refrain from drawing any broad conclusions about this relatively large group of men. While some young sub males may not be into relationships (just like many nonsub young males), I would guess the majority are looking for love and hard-to-explain-at-the-gym bruises.

So why haven't any of the subs you've played with wanted a relationship? Well, AAM, some were probably not interested in relationships, as you hypothesize, while others simply weren't interested in a relationship with you. Sexual compatibility and emotional compatibility do not necessarily go hand in hand, AAM. The sub guys you meet via internet personals and through BDSM groups who dig your attractive face, average weight, and pain-infliction technique may be repulsed by your personality or your politics. Like any other woman in New York City—18 or older, black or white, kinky or vanilla—you're just going to have to hang in there until you meet a guy who digs everything you have to offer.

I have this extreme fetish. I fantasize about wrestling with a guy while wearing slippery, smooth stockings or garter belts and pantyhose. The slipperier the nylons the hornier it makes me. I have made contacts in an attempt to connect with another guy and live out my fantasy, but I've always chickened out at the last second. The thought of intertwining legs with another guy and rubbing our slippery, smooth nylons together and grinding cock to cock, to mutual and repeated orgasms, makes me incredibly hot. I would even do it with a woman.

First of all, am I gay or bi? I am happily married, but my wife totally despises the idea of my fantasy. Should I hire a male escort? I want to wrestle another person while both of us are wearing nylons so badly that it's driving me crazy to the point where it almost hurts. Please help.

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