Savage Love

Dump. Him. Now.

And fire Rumsfeld, too.

A close friend that I've known for years recently came out to some mutual friends, but has yet to say anything to me. I'm hurt that he doesn't feel comfortable coming out to me. So what gives? Why hasn't he told me?

Best Bud

Don't feel bad, BB. Homos frequently come out to new friends before old, siblings before parents. The more a homo fears the loss of a person's love and support, the harder it can be to tell them. Which is why most homos go in for a few low-risk coming outs before they drop the bomb on mom, dad, and best buds.

I was somewhat surprised that in your response to NAGS (the man dating a zoophile) you failed to comment on the questionable ethics of zoophilia and bestiality. To me, the foremost rule of sexual ethics is consent, something animals are incapable of granting. I remember that you have a set of sexual practices that you do not condone under any circumstances, but I can't remember if German-shepherd fucking is among them. I'd be interested to hear your thoughts.

Don't Fuck Animals

Bestiality/zoophilia is on my short "No" list, right up there with pedophilia, necrophilia, and coprophilia, much to the consternation of dogfuckers, kidfuckers, deadfuckers, and shitfuckers everywhere. (I really have a beef with anyone out there fucking dead, shit-covered puppies.) Since my opposition to dogfucking has long been a matter of public record, DFA, I didn't feel compelled to restate my opposition in my response to NAGS. But, hey, once more for the record: Fucking dogs is bad, mmm-kay?

Don't do it.

However, it needs to be said that if zoophilia is wrong because animals can't consent to sexual acts, then hamburgers, lamb chops, and Jell-O brand gelatin, along with leather shoes, belts, pants, slings, and hoods, are all equally wrong. It's possible that meat and leather are, you know, wronger. If we could talk to the animals, I'm pretty sure they would tell us they would rather be screwed than stewed. But until we can talk to the animals, I fully support eating them and wearing them, not fucking them.

Lots of folks took exception to my advice for Just That Into Him, the woman I advised to consider cleaning up after her messy boyfriend if things got serious. You can read a smattering of the letters, pro and con, at www.thestranger.com/savage/housework.

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