Savage Love

Not, as the kids once said.

I'm sorry you and your brother had bad experiences with fag friends, BSB, but it happens. And let's make an effort to keep it in perspective: Hitting on a friend is an asshole move that's been used and abused by gay men, straight men, and the odd woman. But not all gay men hit on their straight male friends. I have four very close straight male friends, BSB, and I've never hit on any of them. Why? Because I'm not generally attracted to straight boys, for starters, and not one of them is my type, for enders. As far as my libido is concerned, my straight male friends might as well have vaginas. And when I meet a straight guy who is my type (hey there, Sal!), a friendship is out of the question. Together gay men don't want to be friends with men they find attractive for the same reason together straight men don't want to be friends with women they find attractive. Why torture yourself?

So my advice to straight boys seeking a gay wingman is this: If your prospective wingman only dates, say, muscular Asian dudes, and you're a muscular Asian dude, he's going to hit on you someday. But if your gay wingman only dates, say, hairy muscle daddies, and you're a skinny hairless rocker, your gay wingman is unlikely to ever hit on you.

Your advice to get a gay friend is dead-on. I'm an outgoing guy until I see a girl I'm interested in. My gay best friend has helped me meet a lot of women. In the interest of fairness, I return the favor at gay clubs. But a straight guy that goes to gay clubs does get hit on. If you can get over that hang-up, guys, it's a real confidence booster. You also forgot to mention that if the straight guy introduces his gay friend to the man he marries, civil unions, or partners with, the two of them have to keep helping the straight guy meet women. The straight mafia is strict about that one.

Not Shy Anymore

Thanks for sharing, NSA.

I would take your advice and get a gay best friend, Dan, but where the hell do I find a gay man to be my buddy?

Lonely Hot Dude

The hottest gay men—wingmen, et al.—can be found at

« Previous Page