Savage Love

Comments (0) By Dan Savage Wednesday, Sep 6 2006

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I know my trifecta turned him off, but I also know that he's warmed up as I've gotten better. And I'm going nuts waiting.

Sexless In Windsor

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Give hubby some time to adjust to the new, improved wifey, SIW. By your own admission you were a raging bitch for the duration of your engagement and three-quarters of your married life thus far. While it's swell that you've gotten a handle on your controlling, insecure, jealous, and irrational behavior—that's a "quadfecta," technically, not a "trifecta"—it's gonna take more than a few months of good behavior before hubby begins to see you as the woman he proposed to and not the fucking nutjob he married. I'd say you're gonna need to be sane for at least as long as you were batshitcrazy before you can expect things to return to normal.

Despite the desire of so many to avoid labels and the various stigmas attached to them, Homo sapiens seem to be "hard-wired" with a desire to name and categorize people and things and feelings. Some friends of mine in Orlando came up with a fun, catchy, and well-meaning name for a girl in the "Not One Of THOSE Bisexuals" predicament. NOOTB didn't want to identify as bi because most of the 18-year-old bi girls she's known were just drunken straight girls, and she didn't want to identify as a dyke because she likes boys, too.

That makes her a BYKE—a bi-identified dyke. Works for bi girls in lesbian relationships (like me), bi girls who prefer women more than men (like me), and lots of other situations that I can't even imagine, I'm sure. Sign me...

Because You Keep Educatin'

Thanks for sharing, BYKE.