Savage Love

I am a professional dominatrix located in Boston. I read the inquiry from the clueless, potential male submissive in last week's column. My first thought on reading of Cock Blue Today's antics with his penis and the frying pan was that his letter was made up. My second thought was no, this is just too stupid and random to be fiction.

You were absolutely correct in your response. He was worried about meeting a dominant for fear that she wouldn't care about doing "permanent damage" to him. Of course a professional dominatrix cares if she does permanent damage! That is WHY we are professionals and not crack-smoking harridans mindlessly wielding whips. Jesus. I wanted to put my boot in his ass for asking such an idiotic question. We wouldn't be in business if we left quivering, destroyed heaps of man meat in our wake. (That costs extra.)

Why don't you put me in contact with this clown? He needs tutoring in common sense as well as the scene in general.

Ava, the Laughing Mistress of Boston

In CBT's defense, Ava, he wasn't looking to meet a professional dominatrix—but a dominant, sadistic woman. And while I can't put you in touch with CBT, Ava, I've included the address of your website in case he wants to get in touch with you.

Hey, Everybody: So I'm going to start doing a podcast. The kids love 'em, you see, and I won't be able to get this Steve Jobs guy off my back until I start doing one. Have you ever wanted to ask me a question but lost your nerve or sobered up before you could send me an e-mail? Well, now you'll be able to drunk-dial me and record a question from the comfort of that bar, washroom, bedroom, or dungeon. The number: 206-201-2720. Call and ask, I'll listen and advise. When the podcast launches I'll announce it in this space.

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