Savage Love

Do you ever recommend having a third in the bedroom of a M/F couple?

Quick And Simple

Dragging a third in for a night or a weekend can be a wonderful erotic adventure for a couple, QAS, or it can signify the beginning of the end. It all depends on the people involved and their particular circumstances. So do I ever recommend this? Sure. Would I recommend it in your case? Well, that depends on your circumstances, QAS, which you neglected to share.

I'm a smart, sexy, kinky girl—I'm bi; I've worked as a stripper and as a "domestic servant"; been involved in a long-term, live-in threesome; enacted elaborate fantasy scenarios for partners; taken it up the ass; yadda yadda yadda. GGG, right? Well, after being single and celibate (by choice) for almost seven months, I've come to a realization that is perhaps "freakier" than any of my past exploits: I don't really like genitals. I would be 100 percent happy being in a relationship where hugging, cuddling, kissing, and maybe some genital-free spanking was the extent of our sex life. No penetration, no pussy licking. Surely there are others who share my, um, desire? How does one bring this up on a date? "Hi, you're really hot—can we just make out and snuggle? Like, forever?"

Passing Up Private Parts

You remind me of a friend, PUPP, a great-looking, much-in-demand guy who was always game for anything. He did sex work, he stripped, and he made porn. The more elaborate a role-play scenario, the happier he was to be included. Needless to say, he took it up the ass, too, yadda yadda yadda. Then one day he just...stopped. No more sex work, no more stripping, no more porn. What happened? He burned out and needed to take some time off. Like you, when my friend was ready to date again he just wanted to cuddle.

Was he genital-averse? No, he just wasn't ready to jump back into the deep end of the pool.

I suspect something similar is going on with you, PUPP. You were a wild thing for a while, then you took a break. Now you're getting your groove back—hence your desire to date at all—but you're either not ready or don't want to return to form. Finding someone who's satisfied with just cuddling for the moment will allow you to take things slow.

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