By Jesse Marx
By Chris Parker
By Jake Rossen
By Jesse Marx
By Michelle LeBow
By Alleen Brown
By Maggie LaMaack
By CP Staff
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In Britain's last census, 390,000 people declared themselves to be members of the Jedi faith--a fictional religion depicted in the Star Wars movies. That was heartening to those of us who lobby for a wider array of belief systems. My ultimate hope, however, is for there to be 6.5 billion different religions–a singular form of worship for each person on the planet. It happens to be a perfect astrological phase for you to advance that cause, Sagittarius: to break out of the pack and fashion your own unique spiritual path. It's also an excellent time to dream up a new political party that intimately reflects every one of your idiosyncratic views, and to identify yourself as a member of a brand new racial or ethnic group that has never before been defined. Whip up your own niches!
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Recently my nine-year-old bike has developed an unfortunate glitch. When I ride up hills, and only when I ride up hills, the chain periodically gets lodged in the transmission mechanism. If I act quickly, taking action the instant I hear the incipient grinding noise, there's something I can do to fix the problem and keep from lurching to a halt: I have to temporarily pedal backwards; doing that frees the chain from its stuck place. So picture this scene: As I ascend, I'm able to push forward for long stretches, but now and then have to pedal in reverse, slipping backward a few feet. From what I can tell, Capricorn, this is similar to the rhythm your life has right now. It's OK to bitch about it, as I do during my travail, but you should also feel grateful for the way it's building your strength and character. P.S. I predict you will reach the top by September.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The often-inebriated Calamity Jane character on HBO's TV show Deadwood uttered words that are important for you to take to heart. I'll paraphrase her observation in order to streamline her drunken syntax: "Every day you have to figure out how to live all over again." Of course this is always true, Aquarius, but it's even more intensely apt for you right now. The good news is that you'll be unusually skilled at deciphering the ever-changing rules of the master game, and you're also likely to have maximum fun while doing so.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): "Anger or bitterness toward those who have hurt you will block your path to higher ground," said inspirational author Vernon Howard. "You can have anger toward people or you can have freedom from people, but you can't have both." I suggest you make that one of your guiding thoughts in the coming week, Pisces. An undreamed-of burst of liberation is now possible for you if you compel yourself to experiment with radical generosity on the wild frontiers of forgiveness.