The Man Who Thought He Knew Too Much

The Zapruder film? It was faked. The Wellstone crash? It was a hit. 9/11? An inside job. Tumbling down the rabbit hole with professional philosopher Jim Fetzer.

An utterly unimpressed postal worker who was sitting in the back of the room didn't even have a question. He simply took his time to declare that nothing would have been different had John Kerry or Al Gore become president. Fetzer was incensed. "I've heard your line before," he shouted accusingly. After a messy and noisy exchange, the moderator—St. Thomas geneticist turned peace activist Michael Andregg—felt compelled to scold both the postal worker and Fetzer. Once order was restored, Fetzer delivered a brief monologue on global warming and the prospect of planetary extinction.

After that, an earnest student took it upon himself to deliver a mini-lecture on the burning of the Reichstag (a classic false-flag operation) and the persecution of animal rights activists. Another wanted to know whether Fetzer thought there might be a connection between the murder of Michael Zebuhr—the graduate student shot to death in an apparent mugging in Uptown this spring—and Zebuhr's involvement with the Scholars. Fetzer responded that he had spoken with investigators and had concluded any connection was "unlikely." He added that he had to fend off accusations from a Frenchman that he—Jim Fetzer—might have been responsible for the killing. "There are some people," Fetzer said, "who aren't quite right in the head."

Dan Picasso

And so it went. After the lecture (which, as usual, ran overtime), Fetzer stepped into the crowded hallway. The hotheads and doubters dwindled away and soon Fetzer was surrounded by a throng of admirers. The philosopher, agitator, and prophet of doom looked utterly exhilarated. So, it seemed, did most of the crowd. Around the corner in the men's restroom, an older man ducked in to take a pee. As he positioned himself at the urinal, he spoke as loudly and emphatically as James H. Fetzer himself. "He's a brave man," he declared. "A brave man."

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