Summer Guide

Minnesotans feign nonchalance when the temperatures plummet 20 degrees below zero. It's our element. "What? Oh, I guess there's a bit of a chill in the air. If you insist." We thrive where lesser Oklahomans and Alabamans would falter. And we proudly stand (sometimes slipping and falling) before the rest of the nation when Al Roker rolls the blizzard videotape from the Upper Midwest. Gasps are heard from San Diego to Charleston.

Then comes summer. Our beards itch. Our hair sticks to the back of our necks. We lie semi- coherent in bed at 3:00 a.m. coverless, wishing we could bask in the coolness of the tile floor behind the toilet like the cat.

This is the year we're going to own summer! Sweaty ass-cracks be damned! Spray a gallon of anti-perspirant under those arms (don't tell Al Gore) and get outside! We've got your concert calendar and information on bike trails</ a>, water parks, and beaches as well. Sound good? Let's kick it up a notch... how about a scuba class? Maybe a little hot air ballooning? Lest we forget, your guide to area nudist clubs? Yeah, I thought so. You're going to do just fine. Enjoy.

COVER PHOTO BY NICK VLCEK FOR CITY PAGES. MODEL: KARL PEARSON-CATER, ESQ., KPC VENTURES, LLC

 
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