Savage Love

Foursome Undermines Couple's Kinky Yearnings

Repeat after me, FUCKY: "I didn't betray anyone—not my boyfriend, not the other couple. In the future, however, I will assume nothing and set boundaries. This will require explicit, thorough conversations about what is and isn't mutually agreeable before any messing around, and occasional check-ins during the messing around. For while it may not be my responsibility to make sure that everyone is on the same page, it's in my best interest to make sure everyone is on the same page."

I'm 20 and have been in a relationship for two years. My girlfriend doesn't want me going out with my friends. If I'm not at work or school, she thinks my time should be devoted to her. But sometimes I want to do other things. And I can't bring myself to tell her off because it would hurt her. I've minimized going out with friends to once or twice a month, but she still makes scenes. She even gets upset when I send them text messages. I love her but I don't think this should continue. Maybe it's my fault for making her dependent on me emotionally. I'm her only friend and she doesn't have anyone to tell things to.

Wanting Time For Myself

Break. Up. With. The. Bitch.

A romantic partner that attempts to isolate you from your friends—you can't even text them?—is an abuser, WTFM. Yes, yes, your girlfriend can reasonably expect to be your top priority, but she can't demand all of your time. Men who attempt to isolate their female partners frequently use threats of physical violence or actual violence to get their way, making it easy for the world to see them for what they are: abusers. When women pull the same crap on men it usually involves emotional manipulation—like, say, convincing the guy that he's her only friend or getting him to blame himself for making her so emotionally dependent on him—and it can be harder to recognize the behavior as abusive. But abuse it is, WTFM, and the longer you let her get away with it the worse it's going to get. DTMFA.

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