Savage Love

Hello, Mr. Savage. Could you please tell me what GFE stands for. Thank you.

Obtuse And Flummoxed

GFE stands for "Google Fucking Exists," OAF.

It doesn't stand for that, of course, but it should. Because if you had taken the time to type GFE into Google—which takes, oh, about 1/1000th of a second—you wouldn't have to ask me what GFE stands for: The very first result is titled "What GFE (Girlfriend Experience) Means to Me in Sexwork." GFE = girlfriend experience, which means the sex worker will, for money, treat you nicely, kiss, cuddle, etc. (Perhaps the acronym should be BNGFE, for "brand-new girlfriend experience.")

Gentle Readers: If you have the ability to send me an e-mail, you have the ability to do a Google search all by your lonesome. What's a Hot Karl? What does CBT stand for? What's a Louisville Plugger? All fine questions, all questions that you might have needed to pose to a sex-advice columnist before internet search engines came along. But nowadays? Google fucking exists, folks, and you should use it.

I'm a newly lactating woman who would like to recoup some of the many expenses associated with having a child. I'm wondering if there are places that sell human breast milk to fetishists (I'm sure they're out there). I looked online but couldn't find anything. Also, is there any reason I'd be arrested for doing this?

Capitalist Mom

Farmers have been arrested for selling raw cow's milk—well, not arrested, but hassled—so I'm guessing it's illegal to buy and sell raw human breast milk. But there's definitely a fetish for, and therefore a market for, human breast milk. If there's an organized underground market for human breast milk, someone out there reading this must know about it. Spill!

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