By Andy Mannix
By Caleb Hannan
By Olivia LaVecchia
By CP Staff
By Aaron Rupar
By Jacob Wheeler
By Olivia LaVecchia
By Aaron Rupar
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Let's put your salary in perspective. If you earn more than $2,182 per year, you're wealthier than 85 percent of the world's population. That's according to www.GlobalRichList.com. Even though you're pretty well-off, however, I'm going to dare you to ask for more. It's the perfect astrological phase to do so. The omens suggest that you will attract benefactors and drum up cosmic support if you make even a half-assed attempt to get richer quicker. Homework: Write down three things you could do to raise your income.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Recently I had minor eye surgery to close some tiny holes in my retina. It wasn't a big deal—just a preventive measure—and it didn't have any effect on my actual physical vision. The best part of the experience happened because of the nurse who prepped me for the procedure. She used a felt-tip pen to write "YES" over my right eyebrow, ensuring that the surgeon wouldn't aim the laser into the wrong eye. I didn't wash off the "YES" until 24 hours after the operation, and was pleased at the unexpected effect it had. I found myself using my eyes more aggressively—with a greater hunger to study my surroundings. It was as if the written "YES" had given me a subliminal suggestion to switch on a figurative "YES" in my perceptual apparatus. Now I'm recommending this trick to you, Taurus. It's a perfect astrological moment to perk up your seeing. I dare you to write "YES" over both of your eyebrows.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): On some days you work on creating your tapestry, weaving each thread with care and artistry. On other days you inexplicably unravel the same tapestry, undoing your fine efforts. Is there some hidden purpose in this maddening rhythm—a strategy I can't fathom? Or is it fueled by a half-conscious compulsion you feel helpless to resist? Please get clear, Gemini, about what's motivating you to take two steps forward, then two steps backward. I'd like to see you go at least three steps forward, two steps backward.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): "An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all," said author Elbert Hubbard. I don't know if I would go quite that far, but I do like the notion that the best ideas are disruptive to the status quo. Your mission in the coming weeks, Cancerian, is to flirt with and even embrace ideas like that—revolutionary perspectives that tend to undermine the way things have always been done and usher in fresh approaches to living the good life. For inspiration, you might want to check out The World Question Center (http://snipurl.com/lpik), which is collecting answers to the question "What is your dangerous idea?"
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In the pagan calendar, the coming week brings Beltane, one of the major holidays of the year. Halfway between the spring equinox and the summer solstice, it marks a time of teeming fertility, when the life forces of the natural world are in full bloom, in our bodies as much as in plants and animals. At Beltane, many of us have access to more creativity than usual. Our vitality may be at a peak and our libidos fully unfurled. The effect is enhanced for you Leos by the fact that you're in the confidence-building phase of your personal cycle. As a result, you now have an excellent opportunity to get into the zone, where you can wield power with a playful spirit that's nourishing to everyone whose life you touch.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Bird-watchers in North Dakota are reporting a host of unusual sightings. A mountain plover has been spotted for the first time since the 1930s. The cormorant-like anhinga, which is native to swamps in southern climates, has also made an appearance. So has the Eurasian wigeon, a noisy duck that is rarely found outside of Europe and Asia. In addition, there have been visits by five other species that are unknown in the area. What's going on? Another byproduct of global warming and the weird effects it's generating? Maybe. Whatever it is, Virgo, a metaphorically similar experience will soon occur in your sphere. You'll be mingling with life forms and natural phenomena that you've never come in contact with up until now.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Will the truth set you free? Maybe, but first it will set you on fire, metaphorically speaking. Once you have been completely consumed by the flames and been reborn out of the ashes like the mythical phoenix, then you might be able to figure out how to use the truth to set yourself free—and to set others free as well. As long as you're armed with the knowledge in this horoscope, Libra, the process won't hurt as much as you might imagine. In fact, the predominant sensation may be exultation. Here's some homework to get you started: Write your three top fears on a piece of paper and burn it.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The Sun and Mercury are lighting up your astrological House of Relationships. Uranus, the planet of awakening, is animating your House of Creativity, and is in a sweetly harmonious aspect with the expansive planet Jupiter, which is invigorating your House of Beginnings. What does it all mean? You have a fantastic opportunity to experiment with the ways you conduct your intimate alliances. I suggest that you have major fun as you introduce previously undreamed-of innovations into your three best bonds.
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