In Da Club: Tom Hanks at the Uptown Bar

Lindsey Thomas

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Lawsuit-waiting-to-happen Tom Hanks put on a show that combined Apollo13 with--what's that movie where the actor sings raunchy sex jams? Saturday night at the Uptown Bar, the one-man band broached a number of sleazy clichés, from playing doctor to making love on the dance floor. In between songs, he turned into Major Tom, relaying urgent messages to someone at ground control named Keith. (In response to ambient sounds coming from his prerecorded set-up: "Keith, there are fucking space whales out there.") Although Tom Hanks will surely garner comparisons to Har Mar Superstar (there's an underused phrase), the new guy has a certain subtlety. Sure, he rhymed "body" with "horny" and paired the word "honey" with a point to his crotch, but he did so without removing a single article of clothing. Instead of pelvic thrusts, he did a noncommittal moonwalk. (His vaguely robotic moves were improved by a well-timed strobe light.) And with a disaffected, deadpan tone borrowed from '80s electro, he found the laughs in lines such as, "When I got to the party/I wanted to get naughty with you." Tom Hanks may become the Twin Cities' favorite novelty act, as long as he can keep his ship on course. "Jesus! Can you do something, Keith?" he exclaimed toward the end of his set. "I can't stop these funky beats! I can't stop 'em! [music stops] Oh wait, never mind. I got it."