Savage Love

I'm a straight guy, a sophomore in college, and I have a problem with girls. I've dated girls with Mohawks, college cheerleaders, a chubby chick, and bohemian types. I'm not really discriminant [sic] about what girls I date. But all these girls were sexually promiscuous. They wanted to have sex before we started dating officially. This is a problem because I have always been attracted to respectable girls. But these girls are all either dating someone else or have the wrong impression of me. Even though sluts seem to like me, I don't go for that. I'm a romantic guy, menstrual cycles don't bother me. I'm driven, I'm smart, I'm going to India as a volunteer this summer, and I'm handsome. I need some tips. College cheerleaders are nice, but I would much rather date a "good girl."

Tired Of Sluts

Let me see if I follow you, TOS. You want to date good girls, girls who don't, girls who are saving themselves for, ohidunno, one of those dime-a-dozen handsome, driven, romantic guys who volunteer in India and aren't bothered by menstrual cycles? A bright, educated college guy with discriminant [sic] tastes? But the good girls are either taken or they have the wrong impression of you. So you've been forced to date—and fuck and fuck and fuck—a string of sex-crazed sluts. Some had Mohawks, some had cheerleader outfits, some had unhealthy BMIs. But they all had a burning desire to rip your clothes off and sit on your dick. You poor thing, how you've suffered.

Sorry, TOS, but I'm not buying it. Someone who dates sluts exclusively—and I'm using slut in the sex-positive sense (hey, I married a slut!)—can't claim that he doesn't like sluts. Strike that. You can claim you don't like sluts but no one has to believe you. Clearly the single good girls you've met aren't buying it. So it's not tips you lack, TOS, but the ability to be honest with yourself. Why do you date sluts? Perhaps you want to feel superior to the girls you condescend to date. Or maybe dating sluts allows you to avoid real intimacy. Or maybe, just maybe, deep down inside, in your heart of hearts, TOS, you're a big fat slut too.

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