Free Will Astrology

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): I'm not in the least sorry about that time 15 years ago when Brandon and Anah and I jumped on the roof of a stranger's BMW at 3 a.m. and belted out songs from "West Side Story." Nor do I have any regrets about burning 37 dollar bills and kissing 32 people's asses at 2003's Burning Man festival during my Sacred Uproar Revival show. I'm also at peace with scores of other past actions that lacked decorum and dignity. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, Sagittarius, it's a good time for you to do something similar: Celebrate the outrageous, extreme, uninhibited things you've done that caused no harm and raised the levels of fun in your part of the world. Then go out and do some more.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Things you DON'T particularly need right now: excuses to procrastinate; urges to retreat into hardened positions and fixate on the way things used to be; a willingness to politely tolerate control freaks; fantasies about changing the personalities of people you love. Things you DO need: a windy day, a meadow, and a dragonish kite; more raw curiosity and better questions; a slightly irrational diversion that fires up your imagination; an idiosyncratic altar in your bedroom; more gratitude for and intimacy with your muse; finger paint and five large sheets of paper so you can illustrate your life story.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Aquarian actress and talk show host Tallulah Bankhead (1902-1968) had a lot to say. According to her biographer Joel Lobenthal in his book Tallulah!: The Life and Times of a Leading Lady, she sometimes spoke nonstop for hours, and in the course of one especially loquacious day uttered upwards of 70,000 words. Let's make her your role model for the coming week, Aquarius. I believe it's your sacred duty to express even more thoughts, jokes, observations, and stream-of-consciousness messages than you usually do. Fluency is your middle name.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): My best friend in high school was James, a Piscean artist. His work was so wild and beautiful that it scared his parents. Instead of seeing him as he was—a budding creative genius—they suffered from the delusion that he was mentally ill. They confined him to an asylum and forced him to undergo shock treatments. Since they thought I was a bad influence, they forbade us from having contact. I lost track of him when I went to college, and later he dropped out of sight. This week I decided to google James. I was ecstatic to find that he has grown up big and strong. He's an inventor and philanthropist living in Florida, having made loads of money from his numerous creations. In line with your astrological omens, I nominate him to be your inspiration. May his triumph over his past rouse you to recover some of the fullness of the brilliance that was suppressed and wounded when you were young.

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