By Jesse Marx
By Chris Parker
By Jake Rossen
By Jesse Marx
By Michelle LeBow
By Alleen Brown
By Maggie LaMaack
By CP Staff
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): I wear my hair long, like Benjamin Franklin, Isaac Newton, Jesus Christ, and the majority of the men who have lived in the Western world during the last two millennia. So even though I'm at odds with the cultural trends of the last 100 years, I'm right in alignment with more enduring ideas about masculine fashion. Try something similar, Scorpio: Meditate on how it might benefit you to get out of sync with prevailing attitudes about what's right and good and true and cool, and instead be in style with more timeless and abiding modes.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): "Neoteny" is a biological term that means the retention of juvenile characteristics into adulthood. For instance, certain small dogs with big eyes and shortened muzzles have a resemblance to puppies even after they're full-grown. Most of us humans have personality characteristics that are for all intents and purposes neotenous. They're throwbacks that may make us appear cute and cuddly, but that on the other hand keep us in a state of arrested development. It's prime time to ask yourself if you have qualities like that, Sagittarius. If so, do you really want to keep cultivating them?
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): It's the Introspection Season, Capricorn. I encourage you to write copiously in a journal. Here are several themes that would be fruitful to explore: (1) Your most amazing qualities and your worst qualities. (2) The hundred things you want to accomplish in the next 30 years. (3) Your bitter complaints, horrendous pain, and lost dreams. (4) Everything you love and everything that's beautiful and everything that works. In addition to writing your heart out and your ass off, paste in cut-out pictures from magazines, draw pictures, and ask friends to write messages to you.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Once the software and brain implants are developed, we'll all be able to benefit from the kind of instant education that was at the disposal of the dissident heroes of the three films collectively known as The Matrix. Want to learn how to pilot a helicopter? The entire skill set will be downloaded into you in a few minutes. Planning a journey to Tanzania? You'll become a fluent speaker of Swahili in time for your departure. The technology is still years away, Aquarius, but in the coming weeks you'll be able to enjoy the closest current approximation to it. You've entered the super-learning season.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): "I don't know why we are here," wrote philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein, "but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves." His feelings contrast sharply with that of the poet Robert Bly, who edited a book of sacred poems entitled The Soul Is Here for Its Own Joy. Which of these two approaches are you inclined to follow, Pisces? I believe you're at a crossroads: The direction you choose to endorse and emphasize now will shape your destiny for a long time.