Where the Party Never Stops

Four veteran rent-a-limo drivers tell all

Sometimes, a customer will say, "Come on in the club with us and we'll buy you a lap dance." That's one of the perks of the job. Some people want to get busy in the back. I put the divider up because I'm not a voyeur. It's a little fantasy for people. They can see out but no one can see in. It happens maybe two, three times a year. You get those streaks. I had two in a row where they were getting some action.

I'd rather do a bachelorette than a bachelor party. Generally, the females are more tidy. You can't make a blanket statement. I had one run, there were Dorito chips all over, cake everywhere, napkins. You couldn't even see the carpet. That was just a bunch of girls going out one night. In my company, the drivers have to clean their own cars.

If they're doing illegal activity, their run is supposed to be over. You use your judgment. If these guys are going to get cranked out of their head, the run's over. If they're more sophisticated about it, you can give them the benefit of the doubt.

Sometimes I get guys who want to pick up prostitutes. "Where can I pick up some hos? Where's the hos around here?" I'm like, "I don't know. I don't do that stuff. If you want to make some arrangements and have me take you there, fine. But I can't set anything up."

I don't care if you're rich, poor, fat, skinny. You get a clean slate when you start. But if you're a jerk, I don't like you. If they don't give you respect, take it. Because you're in charge of the car. I very rarely dump customers. If they're smoking, and you've got to tell them four times to quit, I'll say, "Get out. You're done." It's all there in the contract: If you break the rules, the run's over and no refund. You've got to have some level of decorum and you've got keep people safe. Safety is the main thing. That's a part of business. It's a lot cheaper to pay 500 bucks for a limo than to get a DWI and lose your license. Smart thing to do, both emotionally and financially.

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