Savage Love

I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for five years. I'm in love with her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her if possible. Problem #1: She's married and has been throughout our entire relationship. She tells me that she loves me and wants to be only with me, but she won't leave him. Her husband and I know each other quite well but he knows nothing about us. Problem #2: She was my first and has been my only with everything sexual. Problem #3: She did leave him and we moved in together about a year ago and everything was going really well until she came down with an STD that I did not give her. When she moved in I was told that all sexual encounters with her husband had stopped. I found out that she had been giving him head. How am I supposed to deal with this? Now he has moved in with us and we don't even sleep in the same room anymore (for the sake of the kids). What do I do?

Love Over Stressed Times

"I have a few pieces of advice for you," says Cara. "Piece #1: If she loves you and only wants to be with you, then she'd leave him. Piece #2: Very few people have one sexual partner for their whole lives. For most of us, having different sexual partners exposes us to different people and different situations, teaching us a lot along the way. You need to sleep with more folks before settling down. Piece #3: Finally, LOST, to be blunt, your girlfriend is a lying, cheating whore who is emotionally abusing you and possibly exposing you to some nasty STIs. DTMFA and good luck meeting the nice gal you deserve."

Hm. I have nothing whatsoever to add—good work, Cara!

HEY, EVERYBODY: A couple of weeks back I advised WILLIE and FS—two sex-starved married people—to go ahead and cheat on their respective spouses. It seems that advising married people to cheat really pisses some people off. To read responses to that column—most con, some pro—go to

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