By Jake Rossen
By Jesse Marx
By Michelle LeBow
By Alleen Brown
By Maggie LaMaack
By CP Staff
By Jesse Marx
ARIES (March 21-April 19): At New York's Museum of Modern Art, I brought my face to within a few inches of Vincent van Gogh's painting, "The Starry Night." It looked delicious. I wanted to kiss it. Its stars were throbbing and voluptuous. The night sky shimmered with currents of spiraling energy. In the foreground, the cypress tree flared like a shadowy flame. I could also see that the artist had been less than thorough in applying his paint. Especially on the edges, but also in the middle of the painting, slivers of untouched canvas showed through. Fierce, innocent, nourishing, reckless, unfinished, this priceless work drank my attention for a long time, constantly refreshing my eyes with what seemed to be its ceaseless movement. It was exactly what I wish you to be like in the coming week, Aries.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Hundreds of years ago, the Roman Catholic Church conjured up the concept of "Limbo." It was supposedly a murky realm between heaven and hell that housed the souls of babies who died before they were baptized and righteous people who lived before the time of Christ. Later "limbo" also came to have a non-religious meaning, referring to the state of uncertainty experienced by a person who is waiting for a resolution or decision. Last November, the Church formally retired the concept of Limbo, declaring it to be an outmoded hypothesis that should be hereafter ignored. In the coming weeks, Taurus, you will have an excellent opportunity to escape your own personal version of limbo. It's time to declare yourself a master of the torturous lessons you were called on to learn while stranded there.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I intoned a Hindu prayer and did a sacred Sufi dance as I stood inside a Native American medicine wheel and carried out parts of a Buddhist ritual while holding a Wiccan wand and Christian cross. My intention was to seek divine favor in helping you open to the possibility that you can expand your spiritual life considerably in the coming months, especially if you go exploring for inspiration outside of the beliefs and rituals that have nourished you up until now.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): The British government recently legalized civil partnerships for gay couples, giving them the same rights and privileges as married heterosexuals. I suggest you regard this breakthrough as a vitalizing symbol for what you yourself can accomplish in the coming weeks. Unions that you never thought possible will be within your power to create. Previously unimaginable connections will become normal and natural. You will have the potential to be a catalyst, mediator, and lubricant for a host of fresh combinations.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): On behalf of Saturn, the Lord of Karma, I hereby invite you to take advantage of a very ripe opportunity to make substantial reductions in your debt—your karmic debt, that is, not your financial debt. (Though I have it on good authority that lowering your karmic IOU will have a ripple effect that will ultimately alleviate the struggles with money you might be suffering from.) But to return to the main point: This is one of the best times ever for fixing the mistakes you made in the past, atoning for the pain you have caused, and correcting the imbalances that resulted from your careless behavior.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): I've discovered a new way to stimulate my psychic powers. I simply eat large amounts of wasabi, the bracing horseradish-like paste that's traditionally served with sushi. Its astringent potency seems to crack open an inter-dimensional wormhole in my brain through which news of the future pours in. After meditating on the astrological factors coming to bear on you, I ingested the stuff to give my divinations some extra oomph. Here's what I came up with: You need the equivalent of the wasabi approach right now—some gentle shock, self-administered, that will extend the range of your normal perceptions.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): While riding my mountain bike out in the wilds, I passed an oak tree growing on a hillside. On the slope below it, one of the tree's thick roots poked up through the ground for about three feet, then re-entered the earth. I immediately thought of you and your imminent future, Libra. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, your roots will soon be exposed, giving you a vivid glimpse at what has been going on below the surface all this time. The foundations of your life, which are normally hidden from view, will be at least partially open to your exploration and study.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Balding, five feet tall, and heavy set, 61-year-old Scorpio actor Danny Devito is not renowned as an embodiment of male beauty. That's what helped make his appearance on an episode of the old TV show "Friends" so amusing. He played a striptease artist dressed as a cop who came to entertain Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe. The spectacle of him dancing provocatively as he removed his clothes was appalling, fascinating, funny, and ultimately harmless. I predict you will have at least two experiences that fit this description in the coming week.