By Jesse Marx
By Chris Parker
By Jake Rossen
By Jesse Marx
By Michelle LeBow
By Alleen Brown
By Maggie LaMaack
By CP Staff
ARIES (March 21-April 19): In Madison magazine, William Stadiem described Aries actress Robin Wright Penn as "the most beautiful surgically unenhanced woman on screen." I nominate her to be your role model. May she inspire you to reject the pressure to be anything other than exactly who you are. May her example give you the courage to ignore standards of success that don't originate in your own heart.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): I predict that you will soon hook up with the "wrong" helpers. They will nudge you down an unexpected path that results in you getting tests you didn't even know you needed. I also suspect that without much assistance from anyone, you will make one of your best "mistakes" of 2005. Congratulations in advance, Taurus, for being receptive to the blessings in disguise.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): A big, beautiful window of opportunity will open for you this week. The only question is: Will you see it? The odd fact of the matter is that it might show up behind you while your gaze is fixed on a pretty bauble. Now study these words from Carlos Castaneda: "All of us, whether or not we are warriors, have a cubic centimeter of chance that pops out from time to time. The difference between an average person and a warrior is awareness of this, and one of the tasks is to be alert, deliberately waiting, so that when the cubic centimeter pops out he or she has the necessary speed and prowess to pick it up."
CANCER (June 21-July 22): "Dear Prayer Warriors: I desperately need assistance in calming my emotional body. It's clear to me that I either overreact or underreact to many situations, particularly those that surprise me. So please beg the Creator to send me a surge of divine steadiness, because I can't afford to do this anymore. It makes me ill. It makes my family crazy. It throws my values into a tailspin. -Born under the Sign of the Crabby Crab." Dear Crabby Crab: The Prayer Warriors will beseech the Supreme Wow to help you (and every other Cancerian who's interested) to master the art of neither feeling too much nor too little but just the right amount and just the right kind. It's portentous that you asked now: The astrological omens suggest it's a perfect moment to make great progress toward this goal.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Donald Hall wrote a poem in which two men are talking. One says, "I was a fool three years ago." The other replies, "One is always a fool three years ago." I bring this to your attention, Leo, because it's a perfect moment to take a good long look at the ignorance and naivet that clung to you in the latter half of 2002. The time is also ripe to make sure that you have corrected your erroneous ideas and cleaned up the karma that resulted from them. To do so will bring you uncanny satisfaction.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): This isn't a good week to become penpals with criminals, pray to moody angels, or flirt with bipolar hotties. On the other hand, it is a favorable time to listen with finely tuned curiosity to people of impeccable integrity who have recently become aware of your value. I also suggest that you offer invitations to movers and shakers who are going through emotional transitions. Be daring and gracious in an effort to hook up with high-quality adventurers.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): It will be a good week to Google yourself, ask people pointblank to tell you how much they need you, and brag about yourself with extravagant gusto. In fact, Libra, you now have cosmic license to celebrate your glories in a hundred ways. Why not buy yourself special gifts, gaze into the mirror longer than usual, and yes, even make love with yourself? (If your religious beliefs regard the latter as a sin, simply touch yourself in unsinful ways.)
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Most people hate to feel lost. It can be scary not to know where you are, to wander aimlessly with no sense of direction. But I'd like to propose that in a few rare situations, being lost is a good thing. Such is the case right now, Scorpio. You don't know your destination, you've lost your map, and you're not even sure where you came from--all of which sets you up perfectly to stumble upon a rich discovery you would have never found otherwise. I suggest that you relax completely into the unmoored, floating feeling. The paradoxical truth is that the best strategy for finding your way out of the fog is to enjoy the fog.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): "Dear Rob: I need extra special mojo. It's a long story why, but suffice it to say that many threads are very close to getting woven together in a most beautiful way, and I want to make sure it all comes to pass. If you write me a great horoscope this week, I'll give you my piece of the Burning Bush from the monastery of St. Catherine of Siena on Mt. Sinai. I'll let you shake the hand that Mother Teresa touched when she promised to pray for me. I'll bake you a chocolate cake like the one that when I made it for physicist David Bohm, he said it was not illusory (the highest of compliments, coming from him). -Sagittarius on the Brink." Dear On the Brink: I don't accept bribes, though your extraordinary offer tempts me. Luckily, it's a moot point, because your tribe's cosmic omens are positively sublime right now--even more so if you cultivate an aptitude for ingenious generosity, which you seem to be doing.