I have a "bend-over boyfriend" who I love very much and we've been dating for almost a year. I am his first "strap-on girlfriend." For a while the sex was hot and explosive. Then a few months ago we cooled off something fierce. The BF was under a lot of stress and he told me that sex was just the last thing on his mind. He seemed sincere and he made an effort after that, but that wasn't what bothered me.
I came across a business card for a gay men's bathhouse in his place. That shook me up. He claimed he didn't know where the card came from, or even what a bathhouse was. He said he understood my fear and that night he curled up to me and told me he loved me.
Well, shortly afterward I saw that he had looked up the same bathhouse on his computer and bookmarked it. I freaked. He said that he thought originally it was a toyshop and that's why he had looked up the website, and that he didn't realize he'd bookmarked it. He claimed again that there was nothing to worry about.
I find myself completely paranoid now. I'm afraid to even look around his house because I might see something that will tell me he's lying. He now gets irritated when I ask him anything and insists that everything is fine. I have no question that this man loves me but this just won't go away. I feel I don't trust him. Do I have a legitimate fear or am I possibly blowing the situation out of proportion?
Not Wanting A Gay Ex
A guy can like getting fucked in the ass by his girlfriend, NWAGE, or be too stressed out for sex, or innocently come into possession of info about a gay bathhouse and still be a straight guy. But all three at once? He likes getting fucked in the ass, he's not that interested in his girlfriend anymore, and you're finding cards for a gay bathhouse laying around his apartment and the same bathhouse's website bookmarked on his computer? I'm sorry, NWAGE, but your guy can't be straight. He may not be gay; he could be bisexual, or just heteroflexible enough to be curious about what a real cock feels like. But straight, bi, or gay, he's not being straight with you. If you're not down with sharing his ass with some stranger in a gay bathhouse, well, then you'd better DTMFA.