By Jake Rossen
By Jesse Marx
By Michelle LeBow
By Alleen Brown
By Maggie LaMaack
By CP Staff
By Jesse Marx
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Pink elephants are usually invoked in the same spirit as flying pigs. Both are emblematic of silly fantasies generated by intoxication or an aberrant imagination. And yet the truth is that there are such beasts as pink elephants. Many of them live in India where the soil is red. They constantly spray dust on themselves to serve as a barrier against insects, and in so doing take on a permanent pink hue. Let's make those pink elephants your power animals in the coming week, Sagittarius. They'll be an inspiration as you start turning one of your seemingly unlikely or impossible dreams into a practical reality.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The astrological omens will soon favor a splashy union. It could come in the form of a wedding or a reworking of your marriage vows. It could mean an adventurous collaboration with a business partner or a deepened commitment to an old ally. You might even consider intensifying your devotion to an idea that inspires you or sharpening your concentration on a future event that will marshal your lust for life.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): A man in Illinois was growing increasingly impatient with his two houseguests. He didn't like how much crack they smoked, and was hesitant to bring a potential girlfriend home for fear she'd be turned off by the seedy ambiance. Unable to convince the drug-crazed parasites to leave, he resorted to an extreme measure: He set his own house on fire. The ploy worked, in the sense that his house was empty again. Unfortunately, the damage was so extensive that he himself couldn't live there anymore. Make sure you don't do anything similar in the coming week, Aquarius. There are lots of effective ways to get rid of a certain annoyance without hurting your own interests.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Psychiatrist R.D. Laing espoused a view of insanity that's radically different from the conventional wisdom. He said the rules of the game in the so-called normal world are crazy and sick. So when a person has a breakdown and no longer agrees to play by those rules, it's actually a sign of vitality. In fact, a period of chaotic rebellion may be the only way to burst free from the lunacy of everyday life. Eventually, of course, the escapee has to return to a semblance of mental health and create a new relationship with the normal world, though in such a way that he or she will be less susceptible to its pathologies. Often the process I've just described is a terrible ordeal, even when it results in a dramatic healing. But right now, you Pisceans can experience a fun and enjoyable version of it.