By Jake Rossen
By Jesse Marx
By Michelle LeBow
By Alleen Brown
By Maggie LaMaack
By CP Staff
By Jesse Marx
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Russian Orthodox Christians believe it's sacrilegious to depict saints dancing, which is why they protested a recent ballet show that portrayed some of their holiest icons. Meanwhile, white Southern Baptists in the U.S. have traditionally discouraged dancing with such ferocity that they spawned the famous joke: "Why can't Baptists have sex standing up? Because God will think they're dancing." These two religious groups are the embodiment of what you should not do in the coming week, Sagittarius. It's a perfect moment for you to express your spiritual impulses through all manner of bodily movement: leaping, shaking, skipping, dancing, and boinking.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Mirrors will be your best teachers this week. The revelations they bring may sometimes make you uncomfortable, but for the most part they will energize you. By week's end, you'll have every reason to celebrate because of their lessons. Keep in mind that the mirror of the moment won't always be a shiny glass surface that reflects images. It may be a person giving you feedback, an unfamiliar situation that shows you surprising secrets about yourself, the way an animal behaves around you, and other things that neither you nor I could predict.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): When America invaded Iraq in 2003, the leaders of France objected. Conservative U.S. Congressman Walter Jones got so enraged by their resistance that he led a campaign to purge the word "French" from common usage. French fries would become "freedom fries," he proposed; French toast would be "freedom toast." Two years later, though, Jones has become an opponent of the Iraq attack. America initiated hostilities "with no justification," he told a North Carolina newspaper; he regrets having launched the name- change crusade. I nominate Walter Jones to be your role model in the coming week, Aquarius. It's high time to disavow one of your old positions, reverse a discredited opinion, or officially change your mind about an issue you got wrong.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): I've known more than a few people who have slept with things they consider power objects: a teenager who liked to cuddle with the trophy he won for bowling a perfect game, for example, and a macho dude who was never without his stuffed turtle from childhood, and a woman who worshiped a special rock she had been sitting next to when she had the revelation that changed her life. I mention these precedents, Pisces, in the hope that it will help you feel utterly uninhibited about going to bed with a certain good luck charm or mojo-drenched fetish. I assure you there will be some magic in doing so.