By Andy Mannix
By Caleb Hannan
By Olivia LaVecchia
By CP Staff
By Aaron Rupar
By Jacob Wheeler
By Olivia LaVecchia
By Aaron Rupar
ARIES (March 21-April 19): According to Steven Johnson's book Everything Bad Is Good for You, TV is making us smarter. He says that shows are becoming increasingly complex in their portrayal of moral dilemmas, demanding that viewers stretch their mental capacities. I don't necessarily buy his arguments, but I do think you'd be smart to imitate his reversal of conventional wisdom. In your own life, an influence you've considered suspect or even negative may soon reveal a benevolent side.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): According to recent polls, people no longer think that most of the old Seven Deadly Sins are even sins, let alone deadly. Greed is the only one of the originals that the majority still regards as worth condemning, while anger, pride, gluttony, sloth, envy, and lust have been demoted to minor lapses. What's your position on the matter, Taurus? It's a perfect time to update your moral values and redefine what it means to be on your best and worst behavior. Why? Because violating your highest standards would be especially costly in the coming weeks, while vigorously upholding your ideals would bring unprecedented rewards.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Important messages will come to you via the wind this week. I mean that literally. You may not be able to receive the full impact of the revelations if you spend too much time indoors, so I suggest that you spend as much time as possible in natural settings. Hike briskly or sit quietly; either approach will work. Empty your mind as best as you can, and attune yourself to the language of the breeze. Be alert for the leaves it blows, the dust it stirs, the sound it makes, the voices in your head it awakens, and anything else it might use to communicate with you.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Let's say, hypothetically speaking, that you went out for a long walk in the woods and got lost. Would you know what to eat in order to avoid starvation? Here's a tip: If your shoes were leather, they'd have sufficient nutritional value to keep you going. And that's a useful metaphor for you to chew on in the coming week, Cancerian. Your current state of affairs has similarities to a meandering ramble through a deep, dark forest. You should be resourceful, even experimental, as you gather the nourishment that will sustain you until you find your way out.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Prince George's County in Maryland is one of the most affluent African American communities in the U.S. While preparing to build 20 new million-dollar homes in the area, a developer recently discovered the ruins of an old slave cabin dating back to the 19th-century. At the urging of historians, he agreed to restore it and make it into a monument for the captive workers who once toiled in the tobacco fields that used to be there. As you rise to a higher level of accomplishment, Leo, you should consider creating a similar memento that will remind you of how far you have come.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In early April, Star Wars devotees began camping out in front of Grauman's Chinese Theater in Hollywood. That was where several Star Wars films had debuted, and the fans were sure it would host the May 19th opening of Revenge of the Sith. Soon, however, authoritative sources informed them that there were no plans for the movie to be shown at Grauman's. Refusing to believe it, they dug in for an extended vigil. As it turned out, they were deluded: Seven weeks later, the final installment in the long-running series opened at the ArcLight theater a mile away. Let their actions be a guide for what notto do this week, Virgo. Don't you dare sit and wait for a supposedly glorious event that is in fact never going to happen. Instead, turn your attention to a more modest success, which will occur only if you're not distracted by grandiose visions.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): NASA's Deep Impact probe is scheduled to bomb the comet Tempel 1 on July 4. It will then study the dislodged material, which scientists hope will provide clues about the mysteries of the solar system. Meanwhile, Russian astrologer Marina Bai has sued NASA, claiming that a strike on the comet would "disrupt the natural balance of forces in the universe." Personally, I side with NASA, since the data that the probe gathers could help humanity deal with comets on a collision course with the Earth in the future. Besides, disrupting the natural balance of forces in the universe is sometimes the right thing to do. In fact, I recommend that you yourself do just that in the coming week.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Scientists are on the verge of recovering the lost treatises of Archimedes, ancient Greece's most brilliant mathematician. The words were originally inscribed on an old parchment, but were mostly erased in the 12th century by a Christian monk who wasn't interested in math and needed a fresh surface on which to write his prayers. Fragments of the ink that conveyed Archimedes' original thoughts remained, however, and now physicists at Stanford are using a particle accelerator to discern them beneath the newer text. Let this be your guiding metaphor in the coming week, Scorpio. Look for ways to retrieve precious information that has almost disappeared or that is hidden by a source with little meaning to you.
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