By Jake Rossen
By Jesse Marx
By Michelle LeBow
By Alleen Brown
By Maggie LaMaack
By CP Staff
By Jesse Marx
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Some readers complain when I draw inspiration from a public figure they consider a bad person. Once I cited philosopher Bertrand Russell, and Patti G. went ballistic: "Russell was a terrible father! How dare you give him any credence?" Another time I invoked a bit of wisdom from ex- U.S. president Teddy Roosevelt. "Why would you give that militaristic bully any space in your column?" wrote Arthur H. Here's how I usually respond to these grumbles: If I refused to learn from people unless I agreed with everything they had ever said and done, I would never learn from anyone. What about you, Sagittarius? Have you set up your life so that everyone is either on or off your good list? The astrological omens suggest it's an excellent time to dole out more slack, and to cultivate a capacity to derive help and insight from people who aren't perfect.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In all of North America, from Oaxaca, Mexico to Canada's Prince Edward island, there is only one state, province, or territory that does not yet have a McDonald's fast-food restaurant. It is Nunavut, in northern Canada, which the Inuit people inhabit at a density of about one person per 3,300 square miles. You should be like Nunavut in the coming week, Capricorn: unspoiled by mediocre food, vulgar entertainment, crass commercialism, and cheap plastic anything. Be like a vast, pristine empire that's immune to soul- deadening crap.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): As a performer in Canada's Daredevil Opera Company, Tom Comet set a world record for juggling chainsaws. He threw and caught three of them 44 times while they were turned on and full of gasoline. Though there's no need for you to take that big a risk, Aquarius, you're likely to have a similar ability in your own chosen field. Whether you're managing to be all things to all people or trying to be in several places at once, I bet you'll demonstrate an extraordinary skill at juggling.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): A group of 12 workers in Derby, England bought a lottery ticket last December. They stuffed it in a plastic beaker at their workshop and forgot about it. Two months later, one of them read in the newspaper that the jackpot prize was still unclaimed. He tracked down the old ticket
they'd bought and realized it had the winning numbers. Soon he and his cohorts were collecting the British equivalent of $9.6 million. I regard this as a metaphor for a situation in your life, Pisces. You have not yet claimed a goodie that has been available to you for some time. Remedy that oversight, please.