By Jesse Marx
By Chris Parker
By Jake Rossen
By Jesse Marx
By Michelle LeBow
By Alleen Brown
By Maggie LaMaack
By CP Staff
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Pulitzer Prize winner Annie Dillard counsels aspiring authors to hone their chops by immersing themselves in scenes that aren't right in front of them. "Write about winter in the summer," she says. "Describe Dublin as James Joyce did, from a desk in Paris. Willa Cather wrote her prairie novels in New York City; Mark Twain wrote Huckleberry Finn in Hartford." Even if you're not a writer, Sagittarius, I suggest you do something similar. Identify a time in your past that has always mystified you or rendered you dumb. Dive into those memories with the intention of making them sing for you; rethink all the perplexing moments until you transform them into a beacon.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Are you familiar with the revolution that was hatched on a toilet? Famed theologian Martin Luther (1483-1546) didn't suffer from writer's block so much as chronic constipation. He formulated "The 95 Theses," the tract that launched the Protestant Reformation, while sitting on a stone commode in his home. Be inspired by Luther, Capricorn: Turn a place where you feel limited into a power spot. You don't have to be feeling peppy and chipper in order to light fires under everyone's butts, including your own.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Austrian Prince Pal Antal Esterhazy (1786-1866) was renowned for his extravagance. Roaming across Europe for decades in a constant state of vacation, he squandered his stupendous fortune. In one infamous stunt, he removed a priceless Titian painting from its frame and had it made into the lining for his coat. In bringing this to your attention, Aquarius, I don't mean to imply that you're as profligate as Esterhazy. But there is a way in which you're being as casual with one of your valuable assets as he was with his Titian. Fix this glitch, please.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Who could have predicted that the quest for chemical-induced erections would help stem the extinction of endangered species? Since the advent of Viagra, Asian men have cut way back on their demand for traditional aphrodisiacs like harp seal penises and reindeer antlers. The wild animals in possession of these body parts are no longer hunted so relentlessly. With this as your point of departure, Pisces, meditate on unleashing a similar synergy in your own sphere. Is here any pleasure you might pursue in a way that will send ripples of benevolence into the world around you?