Savage Love

Last year I began a sexual relationship with someone from my university. He was graduating so we just kept it light and had fun. Even though he's no longer here, we have kept in contact and get together whenever he's in town. Recently he propositioned me, asking if I would have a threesome with him and one of his male friends, a man I know and trust. I know they would never do anything to hurt me and from how they have treated me in the past they respect me, but they would have a definite power advantage. I would be putting myself in a very vulnerable position. However, the option is appealing. I'm very attracted to both of them, and I've always liked the idea of being with two men at once. They are giving me all the time I need and are answering all of my questions. We're going to meet and talk about this some more before we make any detailed plans to do this. Is there anything else I should do? Or consider? What should I look for in this kind of situation?

Considering My Options

 

You should be looking for exactly what you're getting from these two boys, CMO--patience, consideration, respect, and trustworthiness. Stop thinking so hard, CMO! These boys sound like ideal three-way partners! They're not rushing you, they didn't spring this on you when you were drunk, and they want to talk things through before they DP your brains out. Could they possibly be more sensitive? Could they be more considerate? No and no, kiddo. If you're worried about making yourself vulnerable to a pair of good guys like these two, CMO, you'll never have a three-way.

 

When I was 14, I was forced to perform oral sex on a stranger at gunpoint. Needless to say, the experience fucked me up--I had a psychotic break with reality, heard voices, saw things. But as the years passed--I'm 22 now--I sort of got over it. I no longer hear things that aren't there, and I've found a wonderful woman who loves me. We've been married for nearly a year now. But lately, I've been having fantasies about putting my dick in her mouth while she's asleep. In my fantasies she wakes up and keeps sucking me off. This really turns me on. However, the element of nonconsensuality creeps me out, particularly because of my past. Should my wife and I act out this fantasy? I know fantasies are healthy and that you can't choose what turns you on, but I feel nervous about this.

This Boy Wonders

 

And rightly so, TBW. Anyone with your history should think long and hard before he acts on a sexual fantasy that involves power play, which is to say, he should think long and hard before he acts on any sexual fantasies at all, since all sexual fantasies involve power play. But I'm struck by the ways in which it differs from your childhood trauma, TBW. You're not talking about pointing a gun at your wife's head. You're aroused by the idea of initiating oral sex with her while she's asleep--and helpless, yes, and that's a power trip, of course, but it's not necessarily rape.

When it comes to long-term sex partners--particularly live-ins, husbands, and wives--a certain implied consent can be taken for granted after a while, and you wouldn't be the first married guy who initiated sex with his sleeping wife. Penetrating someone who's asleep does push the envelope, I'll admit, but so long as you talk this out with the wife in advance, and obtain her consent to either initiate oral sex sometime when she's asleep or when she's pretending to be asleep...well, I'm not going to make you any promises. It might go well, or you might get spooked. But it would be a shame if the trauma you suffered eight years ago deprived you and your wife the pleasure of exploring your sexual fantasies now.

 

I was reading a review of the new book that attempts to prove that Abraham Lincoln was gay (The Intimate World of Abraham Lincoln, by C. A. Tripp), and the reviewer quoted the author as writing about "a sexual practice later named 'femoral intercourse,'...one of the most frequently used homosexual techniques." I've never heard of femoral intercourse--what is it? Is there a sexier name for it?

Wonderin' About Lincoln's Log

 

To engage in "femoral intercourse," you will need one person's dick and another person's thighs. Place dick between thighs, press thighs together, and hump away until thighs are a sticky mess. One man that Lincoln shared his bed with--one of the many, apparently--commented that Lincoln's thighs "were as perfect as any human being could be," which some scholars take as proof that Lincoln was getting his femoral freak on. Other scholars insist that Lincoln is way too old, way too dead, and way too presidential to have been gay. Unless we're prepared to exhume Lincoln and test his thighs for trace amounts of other men's semen, we may never know the truth. Some other names for femoral intercourse: college-style, dry humping, "English method," and my favorite, "The Weekly Standard."

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