Savage Love

If that's not possible--if TS just can't be parted from her bondage gear--then she should arrive at the doctor's office armed, at the very least, with a sense of humor. Instead she arrived wearing wrist restraints and left with her panties in a bunch. The patient, not the doctor, is to blame for that.

(I attempted to reach the Haight Ashbury Free Clinic for comment but they were closed. Oddly enough, the clinic's outgoing message claimed they were observing a "federal holiday" on a day that wasn't a federal holiday. Hmm. Anyway, if the clinic or the doctor involved wants to get their two cents in, please write.)


"Phillip" had a long ponytail. He was smart and cool, but chicks hated his gross hair. Our girlfriends told him that girls would be all over him just as soon as he lost his ponytail. He finally cut it off and, lo and behold, girls flocked to him. Now he's engaged to one of them. The problem is NOBODY likes this girl. She's a selfish, controlling bitch who plans to move Phillip out of state when they are married. He doesn't want to move but seems to be going along with it. He's totally whipped and seems really unhappy. Our question to you: Is it appropriate to tell him not to marry this woman? We've had friends tell us not to, as it would likely be a friendship killer. But he's going to move and he'll basically be out of our lives. We honestly feel like staging an intervention. Still, we all feel like assholes for even thinking like this. We know she's not right for him, but should we tell him that?

Friends Against Controlling Bitches


Sometimes the most loving thing a friend can do is be an asshole, FACB, and it's definitely asshole time when a friend is about to marry the wrong person. If you're not willing to risk being an asshole now--even when it risks destroying a friendship--then you're not Phillip's true friend. And, like you said, if he goes ahead and marries this woman you're probably never going to see him again anyway, so get that intervention together ASAP.


Attention Readers: Are you a straight woman who likes to watch gay male porn? Bret Fetzer, a writer and a friend, is working on a story about women like you. If you're up for talking about the why and wherefore, please contact him at

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