Savage Love

Been There, Tried That Line


Thank god for sex experts, since you clearly have no idea what you're talking about. Go for it? Are you an ass? UBOES' girlfriend said she didn't want to act on her fantasies and she shouldn't be coerced simply because her boyfriend is feeling undersexed. Deal with issues you know something about, Mr. Savage, and leave the real stuff to the experts. Or would that leave your column empty?



Your advice to UBOES could not have been better. I appreciate you calling bullshit on the therapist, and your bonus experts reinforced an important point: There is always someone freakier than you out there, so accept your normalcy. I'm glad you're there to let people know that it's all going to be okay.



The classic schlock horror movie Re-Animator contains a scene that sounds like UBOES' girlfriend's fantasy: a severed yet "re-animated" head of an evil scientist forces a zombie father to strip his beautiful daughter so he, the evil head, can lick her naked body from the bedpan he's sitting in and--yes--even go down on her. Not only is it sick and horrifying, it's campy and hilarious. It might not make her feel less twisted, but it might help her relax.

Fun In Loving and Lusting



Good point, BTTTL: UBOES' girlfriend could be lying. But in most cases I have to assume that the facts, as presented in a letter, are accurate. Thanks, GC. Fuck off, HB. And finally, FILAL, I doubt watching a film in which the severed head of an evil scientist rapes a young woman with the help of the young woman's zombie father is going to make UBOES' girlfriend feel more relaxed. But thanks for sharing.

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