By Jesse Marx
By Chris Parker
By Jake Rossen
By Jesse Marx
By Michelle LeBow
By Alleen Brown
By Maggie LaMaack
By CP Staff
When did your sex advice column become a political column? That's not why I read your column. Please get back to what you do best: fetish sex advice. Get back to peggers and piss drinkers. If I find anything about politics in your column next week, I am done with you. I want info and entertainment on SEX, not politics!
P.S. In Iran two months ago they hanged a teenage girl from a crane for having premarital sex. Compared to that, American homos ain't got it too bad.
Thank you for the perspective-inducing mental image, JM. You're right: American gays aren't swinging from the ends of ropes attached to cranes for wanting to have marital sex. As silver linings go, it's pretty thin, but I'm happy to have it.
I'm sorry to say, though, that you're going to read about politics in this week's column--but only because I'm running your letter, JM. And I'm only running it so that I can swear, on my santorum-smudged Bible, that I'm getting back to sex. That doesn't mean, however, that I won't touch on politics in this space. Sex and politics are bound together in the USA--and that's not my doing, kiddo. Nevertheless I will try not to dwell too much on, say, the demise of the Supreme Court, Karl Rove's indecently fat ass, the end of Social Security, or the War on Terror. And while I have hundreds of e-mails in my inbox from distressed liberals, delighted conservatives, and uncharacteristically boastful Canadians who do want to discuss politics, I'm going to ignore them in favor of peggers and piss drinkers, JM, per your request.
If that doesn't win back your affections, maybe this will: At the end of this week's column I will announce Savage Love's First Annual GGG Award, a contest that is sure to fill this space with hair-raising tales of perversion for weeks to come. But first, a pegger and a piss drinker...
My girlfriend got a harness so she could fuck me in the ass. This turns us both on. The only problem is that for several days afterward, this straight guy's butt is sore. We go slowly, use tons of lube, and employ a small dildo. Is there any more advice you can give other than the standard "go slow, use tons of lube"?
Pegging Causes Pain
If your girlfriend's dildo is made out of a porous material like latex or vinyl, PCP, you might want to try switching to a nonporous, more expensive, and less irritating silicone dildo. Also, with a silicone dildo you can use a non-water-based lube, e.g., something greasy. Some guys find that oil-based lubes ease the way. (Attention buttfuckers: Oil-based lubes dissolve latex condoms and are NOT to be used for penis-in-butt style buttfucking.) Hope that helps.
I made a pass at the girlfriend of a guy I know. He's a friend but she's too hot to let friendship stand in the way. She said no. Two weeks later, the girl asks me if I still want to fuck her. Yes! She says I can but first I have to blow her boyfriend and drink his piss. No! This is her fantasy, she says. She wants her boyfriend to degrade me and then degrade her by letting me fuck her. Apparently she's into degradation. I tell her that I might be drunk enough to suck her boyfriend's dick, but no way am I going to drink a dude's piss. Both or nothing, she says. Many beers later (some recycled), and there I was fucking her brains out.
Now they barely speak to me. It's like I did something shitty to them. It's not like I want a repeat--with God as my witness, I will never be that drunk again--but I'm pissed that they could put me through all of that and be such assholes about it afterward. I would like to confront them but I don't want them to get pissed and tell people what I did. So can you tell me what the fuck their deal is? Why are they being so shitty?
On the Wagon
Because they're into head games and power trips, OTW, and they're assholes.
The operative part of the above sentence is, "...and they're assholes." There are lots of couples into head games and power trips who manage to keep the game playing and head tripping inside the bedroom where it belongs. Outside the bedroom, they treat any third parties they involve with kindness, gratitude, and respect. This particular couple does not, which makes them head-game-playing, power-tripping assholes. As for confronting them, don't do it--not because they'll blab (they probably don't want people to know what freaks they are), OTW, but because they'll get off on knowing that their post-threeway head games and power trips are working. Don't give them the satisfaction.
Finally, OTW, "with God as my witness"? I don't doubt that a straight guy would be capable of sucking a dude's dick, even drinking a dude's piss, if it meant getting to fuck the dude's amazingly hot/amazingly kinky girlfriend. But tossing off lines from Gone with the Wind? That is so gay, OTW. What are you, a faggot or something?