By Jesse Marx
By Chris Parker
By Jake Rossen
By Jesse Marx
By Michelle LeBow
By Alleen Brown
By Maggie LaMaack
By CP Staff
Canadians Abhor Nuts
Thanks for the invite, CAN, and I'm thinking about it. For other Americans thinking about heading north, I recommend these two websites: www.marryanamerican.ca (for laughs) and www.cic.gc.ca (for serious).
I can't believe that you fucking faggots could fuck it up for everyone like this. If you faggots had just waited until after the election to start getting married, then we wouldn't have to put up with George W. Bush and Republican control of both houses of Congress. When they take away my grandmother's Social Security to pay for the invasion of France, I'm going to point my finger in your face and say, "You helped this happen."
Stupid, Stupid Faggots
I hear you, SSF. And while we're apportioning blame for the current fucked state o' the nation, let's not forget all those stupid, stupid African Americans who fucked up the Democratic lock on the south by launching the civil rights movement. Jesus, we'd have a Democratic Senate right now if it weren't for them! Remember what LBJ said when he signed the Civil Rights Act in 1964? "We have lost the South for a generation." Wrong! The Dems wound up losing the South for two, three, four, or more generations. All because selfish blacks wanted to vote, get educations, and sit wherever they damn well pleased on the bus. The nerve of some people!
Look, the gay marriage issue and the antigay marriage amendments brought the knuckle-draggers to the polls, for sure, can't deny it. But one day Dems might thank us homos for this--the only consoling argument out there now is that the Dems dodged a bullet by losing this election. Iraq is a mess, the economy is a mess--the next four years are going to be an ugly shit storm. If Kerry had been in the White House, the Republicans and their media attack dogs would have pinned it all on the Dems. With Bush in the White House and the Rs still in control of Congress, they have no one to blame for the shit storm but themselves.
But, hey, if this cold-comfort analysis is wrong, SSF, if we all live to regret the gay marriage issue coming to a head, rest assured that all the dykes and faggots out there will pay a high price for it.