By Jesse Marx
By Chris Parker
By Jake Rossen
By Jesse Marx
By Michelle LeBow
By Alleen Brown
By Maggie LaMaack
By CP Staff
What coaches do during a game likewise depends upon their personnel. But to greater and lesser degrees, in-game coaches work to achieve and then exploit advantageous matchups, call time-outs to alter momentum, structure player rotations for maximum achievement without unduly taxing their stars or offending their key role players, and dictate what offensive and defensive sets (and in some crucial stages, what specific plays) should be deployed.
Teams get blown out one night and blow out the same opponent another night because the games are played by human beings. (That sounds sarcastically simplistic, but I'm serious. It's the same reason we're all hot sometimes and not hot at other times.)
If you were a coach, Michael, you would have learned by now that your underpants can fit around your ears after you've been dragged into the shower. That's that "respect of your players" part. Kevin Garnett would have reluctantly paid some people to beat the shit out of Gary Trent because Gary Trent unreluctantly had beaten the shit out of you. (So your "blunt head trauma" scenario is actually redundant.) And the Wolves would have won about 23 games this season. (Although I suspect even you might have found a way to beat Philly in Philly without Iverson and Glen Robinson.)
I'd rather have Ervin Johnson and Kandi at center than Rasho and Marc Jackson. Rasho needs a big brother in the paint on defense and wisely chose Tim Duncan for that role. (KG is not so paint-oriented.) EJ is more of a stabilizer on a team that already has enough emotional wild cards (and a shrinking violet like Rasho is in his own way an emotional wild card) and Kandi's potential to capably defend Shaq and Duncan is greater than Rasho's (which isn't to say he'll fulfill that potential). I don't have time or space right now to enumerate why Ervin Johnson is so valuable, but if you watch just him in the course of a game, you'll learn a lot about how to play team defense.
I'd guess the chief industry in Sacramento is government, it being the state capitol.
And finally, in the dinosaur battle, I'd call it a draw, especially from the neck up, where KG's profile exudes a pronounced brontosaurus vibe, while Wally favors that pterodactyl look, especially with those Vulcan ears, which approximate wings around his temples.
--Britt Robson, 3:23 p.m. Wednesday, April 21
Think Shaq should be running the FBI? Want to make a case for Kobe as a closet humanitarian? ThinkDances With Wolves would be better with Kevin Garnett in the Costner role? Go to The Bulldog Edition for more hoops philosophy: http://babelogue.citypages.com:8080/brobson