By Jake Rossen
By Jesse Marx
By Michelle LeBow
By Alleen Brown
By Maggie LaMaack
By CP Staff
By Jesse Marx
When my dad came to after his emergency quadruple bypass surgery last month, he had a revelation: "Everything is bullshit."
Actually, "revelation" is too strong. It's the same thing he's been quietly teaching me and the rest of his kids his whole life--that all the nonsense we busy ourselves with, all the ego-gratification and entertainment we chase is superfluous to the world that goes on inside us, and wholly unsatisfying compared to a quiet moment spent alone or with someone you love. I suppose he, like any parent who sees their kids come out of the gate so strong and unsullied by the dullards, wanted to tattoo on us what e.e. cummings wrote:
to be nobody but yourself
in a world which is doing its best
night and day
to make you everybody else
means to fight the hardest battle
that any human being can fight--
and never stop fighting
It's easy to give up that fight. I do it in little ways every day. My kids live in America, so sometimes they eat at McDonald's, watch commercial television, wear shirts with sports teams' logos, and go to birthday parties at Chuck E. Cheese. But they also have heard the sound of weird music and their parents' voices ripping their country's leaders and lame children's entertainment, and these days they know full well my feelings about the St. Paul Winter Carnival's Ice Palace. A nice place to visit. With a blowtorch.
I haven't taken them, and I don't plan on it, because it's one of those really fun things that has been sold to me as such, and, because I still happen to have a few critical synapses firing, I get knee-jerk cranky at the whiff of such hype. Moreover, there is a deeper anger embedded in those letters to the editor bitching about the irony of an ice palace that's been built across the street from a homeless shelter: At a time when things feel so slippery, when politicians' lies vie for airtime with commercials for the new season of American Idol, when the international debate is about rebuilding a country that this country tore down, we here in Minnesota build a castle that will soon be a big puddle.
Unlike other things people work hard to build, the Ice Palace is too easy and too easily disposed of, like so many other distractions that get hyped-and-gone these days, so I look at it from afar and say, Why bother? It might be easier if I could lighten up, get with the festivities, exult in the magic of it all, or even goof on the absurd lengths to which we'll go to entertain ourselves during January in Minnesota. And the fact is, I still might put on the robot suit and take the kids to see all the pretty lights and the 27,000 blocks of ice, and they'll probably think it's cool. Or not.
The Saturday before the palace opened, I took them to Lake Harriet, where we happened to run into a kite festival. There were no colored strobe lights, but the sun was out. There was no cover charge, but there was complimentary cocoa. There was no webcam or live remotes or bumper-to-bumper traffic, and no nothing-attracts-a-crowd-like-a-crowd crowd, but if you walked out into the middle of the lake, you could hear the tinkle of tinny banjos and mandolins wafting out from the bandstand PA.
The music was the only sound, save for the occasional whoop from a fallen ice-walker or skater or the crunch-crunch of feet padding over snow mines. The wind made the music sound like the last-gasp garble-and-break of a dying cassette tape, but the deejay's irony cut through: He played some Dixieland, "The Girl from Ipanema," some Hawaiian slack-key guitar stuff, "Let's Go Fly a Kite," and, most surreal of all, "The Summer Wind."
It was great. There was a guy in a parka lying on his back in the middle of the lake, grinning and staring up at the cold sun, enraptured by the fallow season he'd found himself living through. There was a horse and buggy clip-clopping around the bike path, a dozen American flags jutting out from the ice, a wooden sled with two kids being pushed by a Hans Brinker type, and collies and bird dogs and St. Bernards and huskies and golden retrievers sniffing everything in sight. It felt like a hundred years ago, and like a surprise that everyone there had spontaneously discovered all at once.
Two giant octopus kites flew over the lake and my kids, who craned their necks and shielded their eyes from the sun and spoke reverently of "Ollie," the great mythical octopus that inhabits the deepest parts of Lake Harriet. They've been raised on stories of Ollie, so when my daughter crawled over some bubbles that looked like they were captured confetti from an underwater parade and came upon a fossilized weed, she swore it was one of Ollie's tentacles. My son slid and break-danced on the ice and said, "Minnesotans have the life." It looks hokey in print, but it wasn't at that moment, because even he could tell that a frozen lake in the middle of the city is better than some lame ice castle.