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Published on June 11, 2003

like you, we frequently find our lives wanting for meaning, and at those moments we usually turn to comic strips for divine guidance and inspiration. The world of "sequential art," as the highbrows like to call it, is as overpopulated as the real world, and every bit as diverse and crowded with irritating hacks (see: Pete Wagner). And we ought to know: This is the place where C. Schultz squeezed out his first Peanut. And so, in the spirit of metaphorically defacing as many fiberglass Linuses as possible, we present a collection of strips we're sure you'll find to be darker and more profane--if not occasionally downright gross. Our cutest Disney-grade critter has his head bludgeoned with a bat, a savvy monkey suggests mass suicide as the best form of population control, and our own staff writer-cum-cartoonist Peter S. Scholtes shoots his protagonist in the head. In short, it's a light-hearted respite from our usual news. So laugh while you can at these funny pages. We promise we'll be back with more child molesters, meth addicts, and murderers next week.

Cartoons compiled by Bridgette Reinsmoen; text by Steve Perry, Brad Zellar, David Schimke, Beth Hawkins, Melissa Maerz, and Michael Tortorello.