By Jesse Marx
By Chris Parker
By Jake Rossen
By Jesse Marx
By Michelle LeBow
By Alleen Brown
By Maggie LaMaack
By CP Staff
Two weeks ago the U.S. House of Representatives rebuked France for interfering with American war plans by changing the name of the French fries offered in the House cafeteria to Freedom Fries. A week later the French general assembly retaliated by changing the name of its American fries to Frites de terrorisme à l'intiative de l'état, or State-Sponsored Terrorism Fries. If you believe it's time to turn up the heat on France, please print and send the following letter to President Bush.
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Ave. NW
Washington, DC 20500
Dear Mr. President,
As you pointed out to an aide early in your administration, the trouble with the French is that they have no word for "entrepreneur." More recent events have proven that this is not all they lack.
I applaud the House of Representatives' recent Freedom Fries resolution. But meanwhile another relic of French subversion--the Statue of Liberty, a gift from France in 1886--continues to sit undisturbed in New York Harbor. Mr. President, it is a ticking time bomb.
I ask that you take the following steps:
And finally, sir, please call French President Jacques Chirac and deliver the following message:
"Come and get your damn statue. We're goin' a new way."
My choice for the new statue in New York Harbor is checked below.