Shark Attack

New Caribbean joint has James Bond feel, with spice

I know it's cruel to suggest the disappearing of blameless cashew tarts, but sometimes life forces hard choices. For instance, as of this writing the cute little sharks that had been living in Tiburón's tank, and who are the restaurant's namesake (Tiburón is Spanish for shark)-- those little sharks were off in protective custody while the fish in the tank underwent medical treatments for some nasty illness they had picked up. Surely these little sharks would rather have been in the fancy restaurant with their friends watching the funny humans eat paella.

Ooh, I almost forgot--skip that paella ($17)! It's pallid and metallic, the rice gummy, the seafood overcooked. But, then, paella in Minnesota tends to run the gamut from awful to insipid. Why? Statistics, which I am making up as I go along, say that it's mostly because no one, from chefs to line cooks to diners, knows what the stuff is supposed to be like, and so we end up in a sort of ring-around-the-rosie of the blind leading the blind.

Tiburón: Eat with the fishes
Tema Stauffer
Tiburón: Eat with the fishes

Location Info

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Tiburon Restaurants

1201 Harmon Place
Minneapolis, MN 55403

Category: Restaurant > Seafood

Region: Minneapolis (Downtown)

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But darlings, if we are going to continue our lordly superiority over Iowa and the Dakotas, and I certainly hope we are, I think we're going to have to discontinue all these wild farming things I hear about in the rural areas and start sending each and every Minnesotan on year-long eating trips through Spain. I know it will be expensive, what with the budget shortfalls and all, but in the spirit of offering all the help I can in these cold, cruel months when we all have to stick together, I'll volunteer to go first and scout it all out, if you insist.

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