By Rob van Alstyne
By Zach McCormick
By Emily Eveland
By Jack Spencer
By Michael Madden
By Reed Fischer
By Emily Weiss
By Emily Weiss
I just remember the security guard coming up and saying, "Ms. Avril Lavigne is here, and she'd like to know if she can come in." And we're like, "April who?" Then we had to drive from L.A. right back to Minneapolis the next day, and it was then that we had the radio on, and we were like, "Oh!" We had no idea. We wouldn't let her in the dressing room. She was too young to drink, anyway.
SLUG: On Halloween in Montreal, some girl drew a soul patch on herself and came to the show and said to me: "Who am I?"
COSTELLO: Actually, we just got e-mailed photos of some guy who went as me for Halloween. He walked around with his pants halfway down his butt and wrote, "How much art can you take?" on his chest. He shaved this Mr. T haircut that I had on the West Coast. Everybody was like, "Yeah, he really looked a lot like you."
I was looking at him like, "Goddamn, I am a fat, ugly motherfucker if I look like this dude."
SLUG: I was in Oklahoma City going back to the hotel after the bar, carrying a six-pack of Corona that I took home with me. And I had to take the Coronas out of a cooler full of ice. And they gave me a six-pack case to put it all in. So I guess by the time we got back to the hotel, the wet beer from the cooler water dissolved the bottom of the cardboard. But I didn't realize this.
So I'm just walking, carrying it, and we're staying at this nice hotel. I'm walking through the lobby, and I turn the corner and I start making my way to the elevators, and all of a sudden I feel one of the bottles go through the bottom of the six pack.Ptchsshhhh! Glass and beer all over the floor of this nice hotel.
So I go, "Fuck, I better start walking faster." And in one arm I got a humidifier that we'd just bought at Wal-Mart on the way back to the hotel, because my throat had been fucking with me, and in the other this six-pack--now a five-pack. All of a sudden I'm getting close to the elevator and another one falls through. Ptchsshhhh! So I quicken my pace, like, "Man, I'm gonna lose all my beers! If I get in the elevator, at least it's carpeted and the beers won't break!"
All of sudden I hear: "Hey! Stop!"
I turn around and look, and it's this little, fat, Flintstone-looking cop. And he's starting to run down the hall towards me. And I've got about 30 yards before he reaches me, right? And I'm just like, "Ah, fuck!" And I start walking faster to get away from him, to get in the elevator. I'm drunk.
Another one falls. Ptchsshhhh! And right before the elevator, I lost all the beers. They all crashed to the floor.
The cop is screaming at me. I get in the elevator, and I'm pushing the door to shut it, 'cause if I get the door to shut, he's not gonna get me. I'm gonna get to whatever floor I'm going to, and it's over.
Fucking cop comes running. And he tries to stop in front of the elevator and put his hand out. But he slips in the beer and falls right off his feet onto his back, hits his fucking head. And I see all that, and then I see him slide past my field of vision.
So now I'm like, "Fuck, this dude fell in glass and beer," so I get out of the elevator to go deal with this. I'm not gonna be the dick, I'm gonna help him up.
Well, he didn't need help. He gets up, covered in beer and shit, grabs me, throws me against the wall, and my humidifier goes crashing to the floor.
He's got me like this, and here comes [Atmosphere friends] J-Bird and Murs, and everybody's kind of just going, "What do we do? The cop's arresting Sean."
The cop's saying, "Why are you breaking beer?"
And all I could say was, "I wanted to drink those beers, man. You think I brought those here to be a dick? I brought those to get drunk, man."
They let me go when the other cop came. But the guy was so embarrassed. He wanted to kill me. It was a very anti-drug tour, though.
COSTELLO: Another weird thing you just made me think of: We played this show in Scotland. It was really weird because we got the itinerary of what we were doing in England. I don't know that much about the geography of England, but I knew enough, thanks to the movie Quadrophenia, to know that Brighton's on the southernmost point of England.
And the very next day we were playing this place called Haddington, Scotland. And I just remember looking at it and going, "This doesn't make any sense: Why the hell are we driving the entire length of England in 24 hours?"