The Body

The Broadway musical Jesse Ventura never wanted you to hear

When Ventura awakes, he's struck by the idea of creating his own amusement park. He jumps out of the hammock and begins laying out his vision for VenturaWorld. He sings of the various rides, which are simulated onstage by other cast members. There's the "Shock the World" log flume; "The Media Jackal Smackdown," a virtual-reality game in which contestants destroy various media celebrities; and "Terrorist Hunter," a roller-coaster ride on which Ventura leads visitors on a mission to hunt down Osama bin Laden (think "Space Mountain" at Disneyland).

The show ends with Jesse singing a crowd-pleasing number. Various cast members join the Venturas onstage, including his SEAL and pro-wrestling buddies. Possible titles for the finale include "Anything Dolly Can Do I Can Do Better" (in reference to Dolly Parton's Dollywood theme park), "Life Is a Roller Coaster," and a reprise of "I Don't Know the Meaning of Can't."

Gentlemen, I continue to have such high hopes for this musical. While we are all somewhat new at staging such a large Broadway production, I remain convinced that, since 9/11, what the world needs now is a Jesse musical. The finish line is in view; let's not back down now. I remain sincerely yours, Stephen Dolginoff

Shawn Barber


Lyrics © 24-Carat Fox on Wheels Music

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