A Bear Market

The Twins can't lose, but their mascot is struggling down the stretch

This latest public humiliation was not without consequence. The bear refused to congratulate any of the other competitors and is alleged to have later backhanded an honorary batboy and "behaved in a reckless and irresponsible manner" with one of the Mountain Dew cannons, as well as with a golf cart belonging to the Twins organization; there were later reports of a tantrum in the mascot's dressing room, complete with a smashed water cooler and a toppled buffet table.

Twins players and officials have refused to comment publicly on either the mascot's inexplicable homerun slump, or his other recent puzzling behavior, but there have been persistent rumors that the team was trying to move TC Bear before the July 31 trading deadline: one such rumor had the Twins sending TC to the minor league Batavia Muckdogs for mascot Maxwell T. Chomper III, Esq.; while the Pittsburgh Pirates have denied a published report claiming they have offered the Pittsburgh Parrot for TC Bear and Twins utility man Denny Hocking.

In an official press release Monday morning the team said that despite rumors to the contrary, it had no plans to "trade, fire, or otherwise dismiss our popular mascot, TC Bear. We continue to feel that TC is one of the best mascots in baseball, and an important part of our fan-friendly stadium atmosphere. The Minnesota Twins have every confidence that working together with TC we can iron out some of our problems, put to rest these unfounded rumors, and get him back to doing all of the things that have made him such an indispensable part of the Twins experience."


Brad Zellar goes Yard every Tuesday morning--and perhaps more often--for as long as he (and the Twins) are up to it.

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