The Hunted Man Awards

A Jesse-free review of the headlines that made us wince in 2001

A A A Comments By City Pages Staff Wednesday, Jan 2 2002

...continued from page 4

That little-known Russian delicacy: Aged head cheese

Ryan Greis

More About

Like this Story?

Sign up for the Weekly Newsletter: Our weekly feature stories, movie reviews, calendar picks and more - minus the newsprint and sent directly to your inbox.

Russian immigrant Pyotr Shmelev turns himself in to Minneapolis police and confesses to murdering and dismembering his wife 19 days earlier. Shmelev deposited the body in Missouri, but kept the head in the trunk of his car.

Let's dig him up and make a belt out of his nipples.

In March former KSTP-TV news director Harold (Bud) Meier dies at age 77. Meier's career was distinguished in part because he was the only reporter to interview Wisconsin serial killer Ed Gein in jail.

Watergate, Contragate, Travelgate, Comogate?

Residents of Como Avenue in St. Paul dub a new bus line slated to begin operating on their street "Comogate." Lord knows what scourge the neighborhood will be afflicted with next--perhaps a bike lane?

And if we had our druthers we'd spend the rest of our days drinking mai tais on the coast of Aruba.

Timberwolves point guard Terrell Brandon, midway through a six-year, $58.3 million contract, announces that he would like to scale back his court time in order to get more enjoyment from the game.

Minnesota's stupidest evildoers, part III:
Judge contemplates blowing up her car.

Sara Jane Olson.

Oh yeah?! Well, our governor can beat up your governor!

The torch for the 2002 Winter Olympics in Utah will not pass through Minnesota, but it will travel to 46 other states. This greatly upsets King Rube, inspiring in him a passion rarely seen without the presence of a personal watercraft. "I'm outraged that the state of Minnesota is not getting the Olympic torch," King Rube says. "There should be an outcry from the public. Minnesota is known for its winters." The 13,500-mile route is determined by time and logistics and is "not about what state has the most snow," retorts relay spokeswoman Lyndsay Rowles.

Correction published January 9:
Owing to a reporting error, we misstated the nationality of author Salman Rushdie. Rushdie was born in Bombay and is a naturalized British citizen. The above version of the story reflects the corrected text. City Pages regrets the error.