When the oldest girl dumps her cocoa on a nearby preschooler, then watches silently as the tyke is punished for soiling her snowsuit, the magic is over for me. Never mind that tomorrow night's parade will be canceled on account of a blizzard. Like parents after a gallon of Juicy Juice and nine hours of Blue's Clues, even the nicest of the Minnesota Nice need refuge from the sweet and wholesome. But don't worry: On December 27 downtown Minneapolis will park these high-voltage vehicles and bring back the bums. For now, have yourself a bratty-costumed-light-up-child-in-a-snow-globe holiday.
Did they come for Holidazzle, or are their butts just frozen to the curb?