I asked Rolf whether the Gay 90's new prominence on the bachelorette party circuit was disturbing, and he answered: "I'm very proud of this place, and I want all people to be welcome here. The bottom line is human rights." But, he added with a wink, "I look forward to the day when they open their bars to us too."

TABLEHOPPING

Location Info

Map

Gay 90's

408 Hennepin Ave.
Minneapolis, MN 55401

Category: Bars and Clubs

Region: Minneapolis (Downtown)

PRISON LIFE: O we suffer, we suffer, we Minnesotans. It's the season when the rest of the nation is devouring their fiddlehead ferns, drowning in cut-price asparagus, and picnicking beneath the cherry blossoms, and yet we have to content ourselves with the slight swelling of the buds, and the thought that deep within those trees the sap is quickening. In times like this I like to remember my Dr. Seuss, who said in I Had Trouble in Getting to Solla Sollew that there were many, many people who had problems muchly, muchly greater than you. For example, consider this in-cell banana pudding recipe that Deborah Hart, of Pembroke Pines, Florida, supplied for the February 1997 issue of Prison Life, the magazine written for and by prisoners.

Bogus Banana Pudding

* 2 fresh bananas

* 1 box Little Debbie Banana
Marshmallow Cakes

* 2 blocks Philadelphia cream cheese

* 20 sugar packets

* 2 Tbsp. nondairy creamer

* 2 Tbsp. butter/margarine
(whatever's available)

* vanilla wafers

Separate the cookie part from the marshmallow part of the Little Debbie cakes. Put cookie part in small trash bag and submerge in hot water to soften. Whip cream cheese with sugar till creamy smooth, then add marshmallow part and beat. Blend together, adding creamer, butter, and hot water, whipping vigorously to get the proper consistency. Line bowl with vanilla wafers and sliced bananas, pour some of the pudding over them, add another row of wafers and bananas, more pudding. Cover with remaining wafers and bananas. Chill for several hours to set it properly (I packed it in an ice bucket). Serve chilled. Can be partaken of by four.

(And no, I don't know what you're supposed to do with the soft, hot cookie parts of the Little Debbies, though I'm betting they'd make a great crumbly topping in lieu of those last wafers.)

CHEESY: Guess how many boxes of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese the people at Kraft say they've sold? Five billion. That's more stars than you can see above you in the night sky, more minutes than you have in your life, and enough fat calories to afix cellulite to the world's starving millions. Which is why the trumpets are blaring for the introduction of Kraft "Light Deluxe Macaroni and Cheese," with half the fat and 10 percent fewer calories. According the Kraft, this is a "breakthrough blend" that cheese lovers will be "thrilled to discover" and is simultaneously "indulgent... easy to prepare" and "satisfying." Run, don't walk, to snare that five-billion and first box.

BULLSHOT: Darlings! Are martinis too awfully, awfully 1963 for you? Then consider the "Bullshot" a key drink of 1930, at least according to the good folks doing the cocktail of the week at Hot Wired. The recipe? "1 1/2 ounces vodka, 3 ounces beef bouillon, and a hefty splash of Worcestershire sauce, A-1 sauce, Tabasco, and Angostura bitters--all shaken with a pinch or two of celery salt." It's the drink that eats like a meal.

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