LOCAL PSYCHICS FORETELL A 1997 UNLIKE ANY WE'VE EVER KNOWN

FIRES! EARTHQUAKES! IMPROVED RATINGS FOR CHANNEL 5!

THE OLD MAN AND THE C-NOTES

The psychics we polled believe that Twins owner Carl Pohlad will get his stadium--and then sell the team to Kirby Puckett! Astrologer Virginia Miller, who made her predictions based on the birthdate of the Twins's franchise and the Metrodome as well as Pohlad's, says, "By the charts, it does look like there will be a stadium--I feel in the spring in '99. Pohlad is going to sell off, as early as this spring."

Psychic Kathryn Harwig knows who the buyers will be. "Pohlad is going to sell the Twins, and Kirby Puckett and Harvey McKay are going to go into partnership and buy them," she says.

And why would Pohlad sell the team? "I see his health deteriorating in the next year. He appears to be in a weakened state," says Diana Blagdon, another psychic.

But according to psychic Shirley Strasburg, it is a state that won't last long. "He'll have surgery this year but one that goes real well and he'll actually feel better in a couple of years than he does now," she says.

Becoming the new owner of the Twins is just the beginning of Puckett's home run trot over the few years according to nearly all the psychics we talked to. "His internal strength is what is going to make him shine. There is a lot of positive energy around him," says Blagdon. "His energy and health are at a peak," agrees psychic Marlene Delott. No further word on the fortunes of Mr. McKay.

TALKING HEADS

Channel 5

Hail, Hail, Kalley King is Dead

"There'll be someone new at Channel 5, a female who is a favorite with everybody. They will go a little bit higher, maybe second or first in the ratings because of her." (Fatima)

Channel 4

Don Shelby: Restless and Disillusioned!

"He's obviously a very idealistic journalist, honestly shocked by how deep the dark side and raw power of Minnesota business is. I feel it's disabled him." (Delott)

"Is it possible he's in a place where he's considering whether he wants to work or not work?" (Blagdon)

"He's either going to quit or go into part time." (Harwig)

Colleen Needles: Dutiful, Empty-Headed

"Colleen's husband may have a job change and it is necessary for her to follow him. Relationships and family are her top priority, and her loyalties are strong." (Delott)

"What I want to say is vagueness. Or in the shadows." (Blagdon)

Gaspo: Housebroken but
not Heartbroken

"The first thing I get is something about an airlines story. Is he working on an airlines story?" (Blagdon)

"He'll have a lot of lucky breaks in the next year." (Delott)

"I have him staying at home, becoming a Mr. Mom." (Harwig)

Channel 11

Pat Miles: Watch Out Oprah!

"Her career really takes off and expands. Creative endeavors are accentuated. She goes on to bigger and better things." (Delott)

"I think she's going to do some meaningful work with that interview format." (Blagdon)

"Looks to me like she's moving into bigger responsibility. Excellent for her career." (Miller)

"Definitely going to change what she's going to be doing work-wise. Will do more travel and internationally related things. Whether it will be known or not she'll be getting a lot of help from her friends. She might be in a more serious frame of mind, but beyond February she'll be more optimistic and have a great run of luck." (Strasburg)

"New beginnings and romance!" (Pamela)

"I don't sense that she's going to be around. Not because she doesn't want to be, but because she gets the axe." (Harwig)

Paul Magers:
He'll be Taken Seriously, Someday

"This guy is really in a hurry. It is a good year and he'll have solid growth, but he needs to watch his patience and his temper. People will start to take him seriously in his late 40s or 50s, but he wants it now. He needs to relax. His life stays really strongly linked with Pat Miles." (Strasburg)

"Somewhat of a perfectionist. 1997 looks like a good year for him. Him and Pat are kind of in synch with each other." (Pamela)

"Lots of in-fighting at the station. He looks around for better conditions, but station fights to keep him." (Delott)

"Paul, I think, will quit. He's going to be moving on, going to some bigger station." (Harwig)

"A career change or advancement looks very good for him, something he already knows." (Miller)

"He may have a move coming up. I don't think he's going to replace Brokaw, but maybe a bigger network market. Maybe Philadelphia." (Blagdon)

Diana Pierce:
I Gotta be Me

"A little confused about her career, doesn't know what to do. Seems there could be a big change." (Miller)

"She's an independent spirit. It looks like she may leave Channel 11 this spring to pursue her true love, which is music." (Pamela)

"Continued expansion of her own business. Quite possible she'll leave Channel 11.
A year of change!" (Woltering)

"Sorry to say, but she's going to have a tough year. It's almost like she's in the wrong area. Not sure she will be working for Channel 11 by the end of the year. If she's leaving because of an opportunity in '97, it won't come to anything and she'll regret it in '98. But it won't stop her career; there is much more a strong-willed maverick in there than you realize." (Strasburg)

APOCALYPSE NOW

Our psychics ranged far and wide in predicting death and devastation to people across the planet. According to their charts and visions, there will be a raging inferno across the Minneapolis skyline, a new Hitler in Central America, a motley of earthquakes, cyclones, and volcanoes, and, worst of all, untold carnage in China that "will scare the shit out of everybody." Here are the details.

The IDS Building
Becomes a Roman Candle

"I had a real sense of what looked to me to be a fire in Minneapolis, that is going to create a situation that's difficult and challenging. I had a real clear sense of the Minneapolis skyline so I think it is going to be in Minneapolis proper. The time frame was March. It was just this intense glow." (Blagdon)

Springtime for Hitler

"There is also a sense that a new Hitler-type dictator will emerge in a Central American country, a young military man who will so epitomize the past abuses in that area of the world that surrounding countries begin to seriously engage to counterbalance this border threat." (Delott)

Never Second-Guess a Typhoon

"The big thing is weather, volcanoes in surprising places. Earthquakes not that big, it is a volcano year--and a couple of major typhoons and cyclones. There always are. But there are going to be a couple of really big ones. Don't know where. I never claim to track them down, and the people who do are wrong." (Strasburg)

Astrological Bulls in China's Shop

No matter how fevered our psychics were in predicting woe for other points on the globe, their tortured tales took on a new intensity when speaking of what will happen in China. Is there hope? Well, Marlene Delott predicts that, after the deluge, "China goes inward again, not as isolationist, but toward reflection, to recoup philosophically."

As well it should. Psychic Kathryn Harwig almost apologetically recounts what is in store for the Chinese people. "I am not per se a fortune teller but I did just return from China and felt very, very strongly while I was there that there would be an environmental disaster occurring within the next year or so, like a power plant or a dam bursting or something like that, caused by negligence that will result in thousands of deaths."

But psychic Pamela has been watching something emerge on the Red Continent that would make mere thousands of deaths seem like a blessing. "The scariest thing from what I can see is that there is going to be a really big surprise in China. Not like a war, [although] there is going to be fear of war in the Far East. Something big is coming, right after the stock market crash. Then all of sudden, there is going to be a big thing with China. It is going to scare the shit out of everybody. I predicted that last year so I've been watching this for about a year. It is really scary.
I don't know if you'll even want to print that. In February the planets are going to all hit that point of China, so it is going to really activate something there. It was really weird, I talked to this one guy I know in the military;
I was telling him about the thing in China and he goes,
'We already know about that; we're already ready to kill them all.'" (Pamela)

Spot Reports

"There is major upheaval in Russia. More people taking to the streets as their only recourse, the country pretty much left to its own devices to solve its problems. A possible collapse in the government." (Delott)

"Japan is going to have significant social upheaval, probably more gas bombs." (Harwig)

"In the Middle East, there may be two more shocking incidents, one in Tel Aviv, creating such vast devastation that there will be an immediate global response." (Delott)

"Natural disaster on the U.S. West Coast, maybe another earthquake, although there is water involved." (Blagdon)

PAUL WELLSTONE: FROM THE SENATE TO THE WHITE HOUSE (OF STYLE!)

"Senator Wellstone will be expanding his power base both locally and nationally. More accusations will arise around financial campaign funds in an attempt to neutralize him. He will successfully get the Democratic Party nomination for president [in 2000]; the indication is that Gore may not seek the nomination because of personal reasons. Wellstone may then have strong backing from the Clintons. He may choose a female running mate, but he needs to be quite careful who he chooses. The country will be ready for a liberal by then." (Delott)

"He's under a little bit of delusion. Will feel he will want to run for the presidency--if a UFO doesn't pick him up and take him away." (Miller)

"Wellstone for President? I think the only president Wellstone is ever going to be is the president of a college." (Harwig)

"[Wellstone's] health in '97 is of low vitality, a possible severe illness. Personally, he will waver and waffle from his usual stances, causing co-workers distrust which will in turn bring doubt into his mind as to whom he can trust. He will in effect defeat himself. It is wise that he not start new projects, as he can be self-delusional. This will be a tough year!" (Woltering)

"I think it will be a good year for Wellstone. People are going to emulate the way he dresses, which isn't so great--very informal, not messy exactly, but certainly not Armani suits, more like he shops at K-Mart. And that will be trendy." (Harwig)

"He's going to run into some problems this year. He's going to get a glimpse of what's going on in the underbelly of politics and then he'll understand what he's been fighting. There may be some problems with family members that pull him away from Washington." (Pamela)

"Not to knock someone who has done good things, but he is a very individualistic and moralistic man, extreme in some of his views. He is a pioneer and it looks good for him as late as '99, but he doesn't have a chance of being president. He flat out doesn't know how to play politics on a national level. Maybe he could run with Perot." (Strasburg)

PSYCHICS SEE A KNOTTY '97 FOR PUSILLANIMOUS POLS

Norm Coleman is...

An Ill-Fitting Turncoat.

"All these things around changing parties--what I saw was a coat turned inside out. At this point in time it doesn't look like an appropriate fit." (Blagdon)

A Weird Wastrel in Heavy Denial.

"He's a strange dude. A part of him is real sensible and part of his year will go well. He might even get some nice career opportunities around the turn of the century. But there is a part of him, boy, there is something he is dealing with less and less realistically, let me put it that way. There might be a scandal. I'm almost sure it has to do with the way he manages money." (Strasburg)

Primed to Discover the Inner Loser.

"I think for '97 he's going to start campaigning for governor. Of course he won't run until '98, but I think he'll lose badly." (Harwig)

"He'll try to go for higher office but I don't think he'll make it." (Fatima)

"Norm Coleman has an inner drive to go right to the top of whatever goal he sets for himself. My sense is that he was promised a 'rose garden' but will not get the support he needs from the Republican Party to actually win the top job in the state." (Delott)

Destined to Grow from Adversity.

"If he's not careful he will be tripping all over his own feet, unless he puts as much into the world as he expects from it. If he does he will gain greatly in personal productivity. This will be a year of wisdom." (Woltering)

The Next Governor.

"He will try to run for governor and what I see is he just may win! If this is what he wants, I think it will happen." (Miller)

Sharon Sayles Belton:

She'll Head-Butt City Officials!

"Sharon Sayles Belton, I think, is going to run for governor. I think she has a good shot. She's got a better shot than Norm Coleman." (Harwig)

"She's a dynamic personality, with a genius for organization. I think there will be some kind of turning point in her career coming up, probably in February. I would not be surprised if she lost her post and went on to something else. But she is destined for good things." (Pamela)

"I see her continuing to work hard for the city of Minneapolis. She may bump heads with the chief of police. I see her literally bumping heads with the chief of police. I think it has to do with management style." (Blagdon)

Arne Carlson:
He'll Have a Good Year, or a Bad One

"He's like, on a roll, and it will be a pretty good year for Arne." (Blagdon)

"Nothing he does is going to go right. He's going to get blamed for a lot of things that aren't really his fault. It's not going to be a good year for Arne." (Harwig)

"Looks like a slow year for Arne; he's planting seeds for the future. More change is coming for him after his birthday [in September] and he should watch his health." (Pamela)

NEW YEAR WILL BE RED-LETTER DAYS FOR DICKS, COPS, AND CRIME

"Dr. Dick and family, I believe, will be convicted. I think they'll get three years probation and community service." (Harwig)

"The Dicks? Instant karma is gonna get 'em." (Pamela)

"With the Dicks, there is a maliciousness; it is more the epitome of greed than evil, pure and simple greed. There seems to be an inability to make the connection with the serious nature of what they were doing, [so] they have created this barrier around themselves. [If convicted] they're not going to get what is happening to them." (Blagdon)

"I think there will be more bombings, but it doesn't appear to be big like the [World] Trade Center or the Oklahoma City bombing." (Blagdon)

"The next terrorist act? I think Disney World is the next target. I'm not exactly sure when, but I'll go out on a limb and say April of next year." (Harwig)

"There's going to be a [Minneapolis] police story. It is scandalous in nature but I don't think it's exactly police corruption. There's a politician involved in it. Up at the top." (Blagdon)

"For [Minneapolis Police Chief] Robert Olson, the honeymoon is over! A scandal around discrimination within the force emerges, incurring a lot of changes from the top down." (Delott)

"The murder rate is going to drop in Minneapolis and [Olson] is going to take credit for it, when basically what's happening is that it's moving to the suburbs. I think we'll see a lot of nice, middle-class school kids committing crimes, and a lot of unexplained violence in the schools." (Harwig)

"Mike Sauro may be vindicated and have his record cleared but may decide to leave the police aspect of the criminal justice system." (Delott)

"Mike Sauro? I see him moving out west to Montana or Idaho." (Harwig)

RICH MEN GET RICHER, MORE MANLY

Stanley Hubbard's Big Adventure

"This guy Hubbard is in the planning stages of something really big. I don't know what it is, but it will be unveiled before summertime. It is either some type of merger or he will be selling off Channel 5." (Pamela)

"I think Hubbard is going to do some shaking up at his station. In a really lucrative deal, he is going to sell his satellite interests and put his money into cable and be much more successful and happy. He is in a very powerful cycle where he can't do anything wrong for about 15 years." (Strasburg)

"Sometime in February or March there will be a big merger, or possibly him buying a cable network. Excellent timing would be sometime between February 5 and 23 and March 15." (Miller)

Bill Gates: Microsoftie?

"Just when you think there is nothing new, he fools you; there is something new on his horizon. I'm not sure it has to do with business, though. More along personal lines." (Blagdon)

"He's building a home in Seattle, and I think that will be the start of him building an entire community. He wants to help others. Maybe a planned community for the homeless. Maybe this is wishful thinking." (Harwig)

"Bill Gates develops a new software product that represents a breakthrough in that technology and increases the value of his company tremendously." (Delott)

Curt Carlson: Finally, a Lucky Break

"He is up for an absolutely great, solid year. His home seems highlighted and will be in the news. I can't see anything negative going on for him." (Strasburg)

"Curt Carlson will have severe problems with two people in the upper echelon of the company, who will be quietly let go. He'll step back in again, find new leadership, one of which will be a woman, and quietly step aside to replenish his strength." (Delott)

"He'll retire and turn a lot over to his family in the next 18 months." (Miller)

"Poor business decisions could wipe out what is left of his once vast fortune. His house doesn't look good either." (Pamela)

CELEBRITY CORNER

The Prince Formerly Known
as an Artist

"Prince continues to struggle in his career, developing some marital difficulties, but his wife keeps a cool head." (Delott)

"Prince will drop out of the scene completely and become a recluse. He may very well leave Minnesota." (Harwig)

"He's going to be doing some outrageous stuff but it's not going to be coming out until later this year. He's going to be doing some wild things with friends and associates that could cause problems in his marriage." (Pamela)

"The next 13, 14 years are a great unbroken run in his career. But there are real problems with the marriage. He might break up in '97 and then surprise everyone and get back together in '98. The future looks real good--he'll be more successful in his 50s than he is now." (Strasburg)

Turning the Tables on C.J.

"If not currently in a relationship, C.J. may have an unlikely relationship that develops into a long-term commitment." (Delott)

Chelsea Clinton Comes Into her Own

"Has she made a college selection? I don't know but Harvard came into my head." (Blagdon)

"I don't predict death because it is not a nice thing to do. I think I am adding the sex of the presidents' daughters to my list of things to stay away from." (Harwig)

"When is she going to have sex? It looks like by next year." (Pamela)

"Chelsea Clinton won't be doing too much in the news this year. She is like her sister Amy; she doesn't like to stand out." (Fatima)

Predictions compiled by Amanda Ferguson, Joseph Hart, and Britt Robson.

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