LOCAL PSYCHICS FORETELL A 1997 UNLIKE ANY WE'VE EVER KNOWN

FIRES! EARTHQUAKES! IMPROVED RATINGS FOR CHANNEL 5!

Our psychics ranged far and wide in predicting death and devastation to people across the planet. According to their charts and visions, there will be a raging inferno across the Minneapolis skyline, a new Hitler in Central America, a motley of earthquakes, cyclones, and volcanoes, and, worst of all, untold carnage in China that "will scare the shit out of everybody." Here are the details.

The IDS Building
Becomes a Roman Candle

"I had a real sense of what looked to me to be a fire in Minneapolis, that is going to create a situation that's difficult and challenging. I had a real clear sense of the Minneapolis skyline so I think it is going to be in Minneapolis proper. The time frame was March. It was just this intense glow." (Blagdon)

Springtime for Hitler

"There is also a sense that a new Hitler-type dictator will emerge in a Central American country, a young military man who will so epitomize the past abuses in that area of the world that surrounding countries begin to seriously engage to counterbalance this border threat." (Delott)

Never Second-Guess a Typhoon

"The big thing is weather, volcanoes in surprising places. Earthquakes not that big, it is a volcano year--and a couple of major typhoons and cyclones. There always are. But there are going to be a couple of really big ones. Don't know where. I never claim to track them down, and the people who do are wrong." (Strasburg)

Astrological Bulls in China's Shop

No matter how fevered our psychics were in predicting woe for other points on the globe, their tortured tales took on a new intensity when speaking of what will happen in China. Is there hope? Well, Marlene Delott predicts that, after the deluge, "China goes inward again, not as isolationist, but toward reflection, to recoup philosophically."

As well it should. Psychic Kathryn Harwig almost apologetically recounts what is in store for the Chinese people. "I am not per se a fortune teller but I did just return from China and felt very, very strongly while I was there that there would be an environmental disaster occurring within the next year or so, like a power plant or a dam bursting or something like that, caused by negligence that will result in thousands of deaths."

But psychic Pamela has been watching something emerge on the Red Continent that would make mere thousands of deaths seem like a blessing. "The scariest thing from what I can see is that there is going to be a really big surprise in China. Not like a war, [although] there is going to be fear of war in the Far East. Something big is coming, right after the stock market crash. Then all of sudden, there is going to be a big thing with China. It is going to scare the shit out of everybody. I predicted that last year so I've been watching this for about a year. It is really scary.
I don't know if you'll even want to print that. In February the planets are going to all hit that point of China, so it is going to really activate something there. It was really weird, I talked to this one guy I know in the military;
I was telling him about the thing in China and he goes,
'We already know about that; we're already ready to kill them all.'" (Pamela)

Spot Reports

"There is major upheaval in Russia. More people taking to the streets as their only recourse, the country pretty much left to its own devices to solve its problems. A possible collapse in the government." (Delott)

"Japan is going to have significant social upheaval, probably more gas bombs." (Harwig)

"In the Middle East, there may be two more shocking incidents, one in Tel Aviv, creating such vast devastation that there will be an immediate global response." (Delott)

"Natural disaster on the U.S. West Coast, maybe another earthquake, although there is water involved." (Blagdon)

PAUL WELLSTONE: FROM THE SENATE TO THE WHITE HOUSE (OF STYLE!)

"Senator Wellstone will be expanding his power base both locally and nationally. More accusations will arise around financial campaign funds in an attempt to neutralize him. He will successfully get the Democratic Party nomination for president [in 2000]; the indication is that Gore may not seek the nomination because of personal reasons. Wellstone may then have strong backing from the Clintons. He may choose a female running mate, but he needs to be quite careful who he chooses. The country will be ready for a liberal by then." (Delott)

"He's under a little bit of delusion. Will feel he will want to run for the presidency--if a UFO doesn't pick him up and take him away." (Miller)

"Wellstone for President? I think the only president Wellstone is ever going to be is the president of a college." (Harwig)

"[Wellstone's] health in '97 is of low vitality, a possible severe illness. Personally, he will waver and waffle from his usual stances, causing co-workers distrust which will in turn bring doubt into his mind as to whom he can trust. He will in effect defeat himself. It is wise that he not start new projects, as he can be self-delusional. This will be a tough year!" (Woltering)

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